I was tired and grumpy after a particularly long and super busy day at work.  I had worked 2.5 hours longer than I had been scheduled for, thus I didn’t get to things I had prepared to do. This can be an area of frustration for me. So I went to bed early, confident that I would feel better in the morning. I slept poorly, waking up for spans of time with my grumpy mind thinking and fretting about my upcoming trip and the planning and packing I needed to do. Even though I had most of the next day to further prepare, my mind was fixated on all of it as well as the frustration from the day prior. I was still grumpy when morning came. 

I felt the urge to just get started with the day so my mind could quiet down. But I knew better. I did my usual meditation, even if a little short because I slept in a bit due to not sleeping well, and then got onto the yoga mat. I selected a replay to watch that was about 20 min. in length and it was just what I needed. It got me into my heart, focused on my body and breath and I was able to get through the short class without pausing to go write something down I had remembered I needed to pack. 

But I was still fairly grumpy. Not like me at all, although it was improved. I didn’t get too worried about it however. If this day was to be a grumpy day, well, there must be a reason. I listened to some nice music and juiced my celery and then my friend texted about our walk we had tentatively planned the day prior. She said something funny in her text and I laughed out loud and instantly felt the grumpiness leave.

Wow.

Tools: I used what I knew was helpful.

Acceptance: I let it be.

Centering: I listened to my heart and not just my mind. 

Grounding: I did my normal morning routine without rushing.

Opening: I allowed humor to move me. 

I trusted my heart. I knew better than to force things or to let my mindmreplay things over and over again. I knew I had time, even if just a bit, to use the tools I had and to shift this mood. My mind was telling me I didn’t have time for that walk with a friend and it continued to spin around all the things I had to do, had done yesterday, would be doing today and tomorrow, and it really had a good stress story going!

I used past experience of success (meditation, yoga), opened my heart and trusted I would have everything I needed (somehow I always do, even if I did “forget” something). Life just has a way of working out when you relax and let it flow. I’m not suggesting we sit and do nothing, but to be mindful of the crazy fearful mind thinking too much and not trusting life itself. Use the heart! Taking time upfront, at the start of the day to do some self care and self awareness is important.

I got everything done I needed to (taking off 2 things that could wait), went for that walk with my friend, and had time to write this blog! I am so grateful for this day! And myself for making the choice to use the opportunity provided. Yay!

There is a recorder app on my phone. I use it for all kinds of things such as the cacophony of frogs in a nearby wetland in spring, the coyotes yipping in the woods, ideas for a project, along with affirmations or words of wisdom, whether that be recorded from someones podcast or youtube or some powerful words in my own voice. Just the other day I was going through my recordings and listening to a few when I played one I had forgotten I had done over two years go. It was singing my praises about big things accomplished over the prior several years. 

It brought me back to that moment when I paused to place my full attention on appreciating what I had accomplished in the recent three or so years. I really had not been giving myself full credit for the big things that I had made happen, dismissing them too easily while focusing more often on the troubles I still encountered.  So, at that time, I decided to record something rather different from what I had done before and I highlighted all the big things I had brought forth, accomplished, improved upon and continued to do. How much I had grown and how far I had come. I praised the bravery and strength, trust and action taken, offering gratitude and appreciation to myself, in my own voice. It was deserved. It was true. And just yesterday, I realized I had forgotten to listen to it but once in over two years!

What a treasure to find! It was a blessing that I thought to recorded it in the first place. And while I have given myself more credit for these big things since then, I was surprised I had forgotten about this recording and was not listening to it on occasion. But at the very least, I found it again to appreciate anew. And to see that I was doing a better job appreciating myself, loving myself more easily and continuing to trust myself and life to unfold in beautiful ways.

If you were to look at a friends life and point out to them all the wonderful things they had accomplished or handled, or how they had touched others, or helped selflessly during tough times or any number of things, what would you say and how would you say it? Could you be that friend to yourself? Record - verbally or in writing, appreciations and acknowledgments, gratitudes and kudos, toward yourself as if you were a loving family member, friend or even a neutral witness. Then make a point to re-read or re-listen to it now and then or when you need a pick me up. It is good to remind ourselves how far we’ve    come, or how brave or bold, or undaunted etc. as we continue to show up in life. And sometimes we are too quick to dismiss our accomplishments or even our goodness as a human being. Let’s stop that! 

Let me know if you already do something like this, or if this is the first time, how it feels or how it went. Are you able to really hear it in this way? Can you hear it better from your own voice rather than another's, or is it the opposite? What a wonderful simple and free gift we can give ourselves. Let’s make an effort to be a better friend to ourselves and it will undoubtedly ripple out into the lives of those around us. Why not give it a try!

The human experience is quite the ride, especially now, is it not? The absurdities, the divisiveness, the negative biased news, the constant searching for the next shock or laugh that has folks reaching for their devises, is amplified right now like no other time. We may want to hold our hands over our ears and scream STOP!

How much are you letting what is happening in the outer world effect your inner world? They are actually related. As within, so without. So the saying goes. It is like the researcher bias or searching the internet. You get what you are looking for. Your thoughts, intention and attention (focus) influence your experience. Don’t believe me? Think about when you confidently “knew” how something was going to go, often badly as our minds are biased toward danger and warnings to keep us “safe”, that went exactly like predicted.  And when you were a little less convinced of an outcome and went in with good intentions or an open mind and heart, and things went better than you dared to hope? 

Our energy effects the world around us. The world acts as a mirror to us. If we are having a good day, often nice people and good things seem to pop up. When we have decided it is a bad day, we get that reinforcement as everything that goes wrong “proves” it is a bad day. 

As an experiment, for one week set an intention as you start your day. It can be specific if you want, but I find it is best to focus on the big picture and overall feeling of the day rather than specific details happening or not happening. And you should always set your intention in the positive present tense. So rather than, “I want nothing to go wrong today” Or “I don’t want my boss to get angry with me over this late project”  You would state “I wish to see the beauty and good in each moment today” or “I intend a pleasurable connection with my boss and co-workers today.” 

You can write it down or say it out loud. I often add it to my todo list to see throughout the day. I don’t get out of bed for the day until I have written in my gratitude journal - either an appreciation (maybe for a good rest or bright morning) or setting an intention for the day. At the end of the week, reflect on each day to see if you can see where your intention came to be. 

This is because like attracts like. A musical note of B can’t resonate with any other note besides another B. If you vibrate with negativity and pessimism you will resonate with that in others and get more of that in your life. This is not to negate all lower energies we experience, as they are all beneficial. We just don’t want to linger too long in the lower ones. We want to feel them enough so they continue moving through and out and we find a more enjoyable feeling or vibration.

You can ask “how would it feel in my body if I kept my focus on the bigger picture, with love, of all that is occurring in my day/the world”. Allow your mind to notice and take in what it feels like to have that be true. Then return to that same feeling in your body (rather than just the thinking mind) throughout the day. 

Can you think of examples of when you got exactly what you were expecting and felt justified but disappointed at the same time? Sometime I think we want people to behave poorly because we want to reinforce our “rightness” about someone or something. Like Dr. Phil used to say, do you want to be right or do you want to be happy?  Choose happy more of the time and see what happens!

We are all creative beings Even those of us, like myself, that originally didn't consider ourselves particularly creative. There are many ways to be creative. Even how we shop or which route we choose to drive to our destination can be creative!

I hope you will join me in person to practice some powerful techniques that help us tune into our inherent creative wisdom for a more joyous life experience! Whether your creativity lies in music, art, literature or like me, how you set a table or put a meal together, decorate your house or pull together a family gathering, expanding our abilities to celebrate our unique creativity brings more joy in our every day lives. And this impacts those around us as well!

​ I hope to see you in early April!

Deep longings or desires will try their darnedest to manifest! 

I wanted a playhouse quite badly as a child. I was always making forts and “homes” - under tables, in the woods, in the yard.  My stepdad made an effort to build one for my sister and I. He bought an old rustic wooden truck canopy off somebody. His idea was to build some walls to set it onto to create a playhouse. However, in an attempt to lift it up to the right height, it fell over and broke. He never got around to doing more with it. My sister and I would crawl under it in the grass, but it was too low to even sit up in so needless to say, it didn’t fulfill the desire. But I continued to create little homes in the woods around us, at the neighbors house, on the beach etc. I loved making “home”!

In my adulthood I had visions of creating a little private camping compound, each small cabin with its own theme, shared space in the center, where people could come for a little get away or an entire group for a retreat or reunion.

When empty nesting happened, and the house we lived in seemed dark and lonely, I had a very strong desire to build or buy, a smaller home where I could see more sky. But why would we leave our nice family home? And my husband worked way too much to even think about tackling a construction project. There was around 20 acres for sale not far from where we lived that I had visions of building a variety of small and hopefully affordable houses on. While I did look into it, I also did a lot of “who am I to think I have the knowledge or tools to do this!?” and so I didn’t pursue it and the acreage sold. 

I also really enjoyed the idea of building an adult tree house on our property. At the time the price tag for such a “frivolous” thing was not something that I could consider discussing with my partner for more than a minute. I also feared it might be my way of wanting to escape or hide from the troubles in our relationship. 

Fast forward several years, instigated by an impending divorce and coupled with a housing crisis and inability to get a mortgage, I bought undeveloped land and purchased a tiny house and moved into that as a stepping stone along the path to building a new home with cashed out investment funds. I really loved living tiny and even at the time considered it the playhouse I never got as a kid! In my 30’s I had been collecting magazine articles and images of pre-fabricated homes I liked, as that type of building process seemed really neat to me. But then kind of forgot about it. Add to this the strong desire and knowing that I needed some more light (not living quite so deep in the woods) and here I currently sit in my new pre-fab built house, with a ton of windows and expansive vistas of sky! My desire was stronger than my hesitancy and fear and it found a way to arrive. It was not easy, nor always pleasant. But I am here. It seems it was going to happen one way or another. 

Another fun fact, when exploring builders, it was suggested I contact a pre-fab builder in OR, which turned out to have been the founder of Method Homes - the builder of several of the homes that I had saved the articles about all those years ago!

The journey is part of the learning and we are here to experience things. I am not suggesting that taking the shortest route to everything we desire is always best. However, I wonder how it would have transpired differently had I felt more empowered to explore those desires and knowings earlier? I will never know, but I can remember that my desires are important and deserve attention. Perhaps my marriage would have been less of a struggle not more, like I feared, if I had been more adamant about those desires. After all that, we are together again, with our love stronger than ever. Could that painful chapter been less so?
I didn’t really consider myself creative, yet looking back, I was creative in my home making. I am a Cancer, and family and home are of ultimate importance for Cancers’. I underestimated the gift I had to offer to my family and myself. Creating a safe, loving, comfortable and beautiful home is not trivial! Funny how I discounted it all those years. 

Other dreams I have had include a family or friends compound - where we share gardens, support and even meals at times, but have our own space as well. This is not a new concept or anything, I just love the idea. It would be wise of me to not ignore this desire if it persists. If I don’t act on it, I now see that life will transpire to get that created, in some form or another. And I would rather it not be unpleasant circumstances that get me to finally do it! Maybe it wont be a family compound, maybe it will be little rental cabins, or even treehouses! 

What are some of your reoccurring desires, longings, ideas, wishes? Those that continue, maybe with a variety of options, to come up in your mind. Pay attention to them. What about those are the most appealing? What might they be calling you toward? What does that desire feel like in your body? Can you narrow down the desire more? It is less about the physical manifestation and more about the feeling in your heart that it creates. What childhood desires can you see manifested in your adult life? Share yours with me or a friend! Write in your journal or open yourself to deeper understanding inside a meditation.

Don’t let your fear slow those strong desires down. They want to come to fruition and the more you can open to possibilities and the less you ignore them, the smoother the path toward the inevitable. After all you are here to create a life you wanted when you decided to come into this physical body. Diminish the minds resistance of the creative flow that you already are in order to facilitate a smoother more enjoyable life for yourself, your family and all the lives you will touch. I thank you in advance! 

I can't recommend enough, Dr. Sue's book "The Energy Codes". I have read it several times and of course have much time and training from and with Dr. Sue, and yet, I embody more of the wisdom each time I revisit it. I invite you to explore the book in community to really help it land so the benefits are magnified!
​Join me and others in a book study starting soon! More details can be found here... Book Study

As we glance at 2024 in the rear view mirror, while curiously peering forward to see what the 2025 road opens to, I suggest a pause in which we are fully in the moment and in our bodies rather than our busy minds. By focusing the mind on to the body and the moment, we relax. We can begin to train the mind to do this more easily and once it gets used to how wonderful it feels to do so, it can happen more quickly. Just taking a deep belly breath and releasing it with an audible sigh relaxes the autonomic nervous system. It sends the message - all is well, I am safe. Because in this moment, aren’t you? If not, please run for your life or call 911 or what ever you need to do! Or are you actually safe in this moment? I bet in this right now moment, you are. No bear, no fire, no avalanche - right? 

Perhaps you are not, right in this moment, in a state of distress. But even small levels of stress, when constant, can take a toll on our health and make our lives much harder and less pleasant than they could be. 

When I am feeling some level of concern, I can now more easily (not always yet!) notice it for what it is - created by thoughts regarding something that triggered in me, a certain vibration or recognizable feeling that I have labeled anxiety, fear, worry, stress etc.  

But if everything is working in my favor, and not only do I believe this, but I am coming to experience and understand this on a deeper level as I remember to zoom out and look at the big picture, then I can trust what is and not allow my mind to always go into action to look for danger or try to solve it. Nor to push the feeling away.

NOTE - One should not completely shut down uncomfortable feelings. There are no good or bad feelings, they just all are. So give any feeling it’s moment to be acknowledged. Breathe into the belly and exhale. Do this, while still noticing the feeling, until the intensity lessens. You will make better decisions from this new state. Notice that the mind had more to do with how you were feeling in the body then the moment or situation  itself did. It was the thoughts about something rather than the physical happening of that something. When you breathe deeper and slower, the flight or fight instinct is not present and you can use more of your body - like your heart - to engage with the situation or the world.

Since everything is in my favor, I can relax more and remain open to opportunities and possibilities and keep my stress level low. If I let my mind get the better of me, stress tends to rise and I feel worse. If I relax into the truth of a loving Universe, more options flow my way with ease. 

Example. Currently, my client load is quite low, thus I am not generating much income. I know I have a lot to offer, and that what I do offer is valuable to people in their lives. My clients have all loved working with me and have been well served. I know this is my heart and in my mind. Yet, here I sit with little financial growth. I have spoken with a number of people recently who expressed interest in using my help, even if in less traditional ways from what I advertise on my website, and each time I am buoyed up that I could get some more hours and help someone in this way! And yet they have not actually taken the next step to contact me with details. I have resisted getting to much in my head about why this seems to be the case right now.

Also, as I finally moved into my new house this Fall, my tiny house has not sold as quickly as I imagined. The first time I sold it, it happened in two days. But that one ultimately fell through after two months. Ok, because my new house was delayed further than I thought, so I still needed to live there. Worked out for the best.

About the same time, I responded to an ad for part-time work at a local retail store and was immediately hired. I have no retail experience but knew I would be good at customer service. Other benefits include getting to dress up a bit, have a source of reliable income and be more in person with folks, even offering my services if the topic came up! All those things have come to pass and I really love engaging in person with people on a regular basis again.

Options for my assessment of the situation are nearly unlimited, but it is safe to say that one could imagine a few disempowering ones; such as “I just can’t make this business work, or maybe my clients don’t really benefit from the help I give, or maybe I am not meant to do this work, or… fill in your own ideas here. 

If everything is in my favor, and it is, and if everything can be seen as an opportunity, and it can, then let’s look at the possible benefits from lack of clients and the tiny house not selling quickly.

Part-time retail job - seeing lots of friendly faces, chatting with other community members, visitors etc. An opportunity to more routinely enjoy the extravert in me. Dressing nice, with jewelry!

Tiny House not selling fast - Many more people are looking at my tiny house and the video than if it had sold quickly - in this way, I am touching many lives! We all can radiate love and bring forward healing in unforeseen ways. I have received many comments about how the video touched folks!

Recent job potentials - maybe they are not quite what is needed for me (and them) right now, but it is a way to prepare me to think of other ways I can be of service. Perhaps I would not actually enjoy doing what they need done. Or maybe simply, right now is not the ideal time for either of us, but maybe later in 2025 will be.

Not to say I have all these “benefits” accurately figured out and maybe even more or different benefits will be known later, but the point is, I can choose to focus on what is happening as a “problem” or choose to see everything as an opportunity and in my favor. 

A powerful tool in my tool belt thanks to Dr. Sue, her teachings and her book “The Energy Codes” is doing the MPower step with B.E.S.T. (bioenergetic synchronization technique). You can learn more about it on youtube, in her book, or I am happy to teach you, but basically it uses a contralateral exercise to connect the conscious and the subconscious while focusing with love on a desired truth using a positive present tense statement.

I do think, or maybe it is better to say I feel, that part of my “job” here in this lifetime is to be a person to connect with, to engage with, as I hold the space for others to be themselves, or help to hold a container of support on a group zoom call or live event, to be the example of a strong woman, brave explorer, trusting person, loving and kind human, or any number of things that people may be inspired by through me. Ways I am not even aware of, and certainly not “trying” for, but by simply being me, I can inspire! I love to help people. Especially if they actually want the help! Sometimes just the step of asking for help is what brings forth the energy needed to get to a better place. Maybe that is another way I am in service! So many possibilities! None of them, I believe, are bad. Unless I decide they are. 

Have you been able to relax into something unpleasant that when you did, actually brought about a solution with little effort? Have you pushed something to happen, through much pain and effort, that you didn’t enjoy the outcome nearly as much as you expected to? If you look at those with the lens “everything is in my favor” - how does it look to you today?
I hope you will try breathing deeper and noticing sooner, when the mind has run away with things, and then watch what happens. I’d love to hear your examples in the comments below! Or perhaps you wish to make a more formal intention of looking how everything is in your favor, by commenting below on what that looks like for you. 
Blessings of light, love and abundance to you my fellow traveler of life

🤔 What would happen if we all doubted ourselves just a little less often?
So much self doubt in our world! Maybe in part due to social media? Comparison central! Imposter syndrome is a common theme. 
Even “wrong decisions” are not really wrong. They can help us narrow down and provide experiences that a “right decision” simply can’t. I wonder why we spend so much mental and emotional energy in this fear, which is what doubt is at it’s base. What primal fear is at work here - being bad, not being accepted, being judged, disappointing others… ??  I wrote a blog two months ago about doubt and now I want to offer something else. 

A Doubt Less Challenge! Here is how it could work…

For three weeks, agree to notice when doubt arises and pause to acknowledge it. Notice where in your body your feel it. Breathe through that area several times. Reconsider the question or thought. For every 3rd doubt, proceed anyway. (not to be taken literally - an estimated 1/3 of your doubts each day/week). Jot down or journal about every time you do this, regardless if you proceed or not. 

At the end of the three weeks, revisit your list or journal entries. Mark those that you proceeded anyway with a P and those you did not with a N.  Then ask yourself - which of the P’s do you truly regret letting the doubt go. On which of the N’s do you wonder “what if”.  Assess this from the big picture or birds eye view as best you can. 

Let me know if you’d like to do this in tandem! Also great to do on your own. But sometimes we need accountability and fellow journeyers to keep at it.

Are you a human doing or or human being? If I asked “who are you” what would you say? I encourage a deep exploration of these questions. And in this blog I share three offerings by others on a similar theme. Being is enough. Enjoyment is natural. Not lazy. Not time wasting. Our focus on striving, doing, producing, and listening to the nagging voice in our head is not making us happy or healthy. Are we here to produce and then die? Or are we here to be, to live, to love. 

Notice how we value ourselves and others, how we measure our own and others worth. I believe these kinds of conversations help us awaken to the lie we have all been programed to believe, despite our observations and lived experiences. The lie that productivity equals value and worthiness. 

So I offer a quick summary of three related conversations of sort. A book, a podcast and a YouTube video. My summary may be enough for you. But if you feel called to click the links to listen, watch, or read, great! Trust your first instinct. Maybe it is not now. Maybe it is down the road, perhaps even through a different offering that comes across your path. But I love to share what I have loved! I have no connection what-so-ever to these folks. I simply loved what they are sharing.


The book
“The Superego thoughts are the ones that sound like worry - questioning how you’ll be perceived, reminding you for the thirtieth time today what’s on your to-do list, rehearsing an imaginary dialogue with a friend or perceived enemy, as well as the thoughts that call you names or otherwise imply that you’re not good enough.” from Better Days by Neal Allen, pg. 178.

In a nut shell, the book is about learning to distinguish between our ego and our true (heart based) self and what to do with that new awareness. What I really appreciated about Better Days by Neal Allen, which just came out this year, is that it uses simple, short, digestible chapters with stories and some humor thrown in plus just a couple of practices.  Through this short book, anyone can discover the difference between the mind and the super ego, as Neal calls it, and what to do when it is running the show (shaming you, telling you negative and untrue things about yourself…). Your ego was needed as a child growing up learning to safely navigate this world. But you are an adult now and can take control! There is also a reading group guide offered at the end of the book filled mostly with questions a reader might ask followed by Allen’s answers. 
(No link to offer - find it where ever you enjoy books - library, audio, online or local book store.)


The podcast 
This was a gem. I enjoy Glennon’s vulnerability, humor and wit. I fell in love with her guest in this podcast, Devon Price. Young yet wise. The idea that we feel we have to work ourselves to the point of serious health issues, and even then try to push through instead of taking them as the warning sign they are, is so common. Taking time to rest, do things that we enjoy, that bring us fulfillment and recharge our batteries, is not laziness. It is a necessary part of a good life yet we have gotten away from that in our efforts to “be productive” to earn, to provide, to prove our worth and feel valued. We often look outside ourselves tor validation, when the only way we can truly know it and is truly worth anything, is finding where value lives within ourselves.  Other than all the ads (ugh) this is an fab hour, worth a listen!  Click this apple podcast link or visit your favorite podcast depot and search for the title below…
Glennon Doyle’s “We can do hard things” episode 303 titled “Laziness Does Not Exist with Devon Price” https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-can-do-hard-things/id1564530722?i=1000653526239


On YouTube
“Doing is Expensive Being is Free” with Aaron Abke and Kyle Cease.

Non-doership is not the same as doing nothing. It speaks to taking inspired action, going with the flow of life (not pushing the river, as Dr. Sue Morter likes to say). It is not about sitting on the coach in binge watching your favorite show or spending hours lost in social media. That could happen when someone is in big burn out, hitting a wall or very ill. That state wont last forever though. We are creative beings and we like to do things! We have bought into the notion that to be productive and contributing partners or citizens we need to work hard, even at things we hate, to produce tangible wealth or income. Rather than what really matters. Such as creating beauty and joy, being kind, and sharing our hearts with one another, whether that be through a job, helping someone in need, cleaning up a city street, planting a community garden, donating time at a soup kitchen, creating art, growing food etc. It can be found in endeavors that excite you - such as the paid work you do, or what you create and share - blogs, a book, art, services, tools, materials, products, designs etc.

Being vs. doing is about being in your heart, embodying your hearts desires, and tuning in to what your body, heart, gut, higher self, the Universe… is saying to you. Another great hour to spend (they do speak about an in-person event they are planning this June, but there is much here to enjoy with not too much time spent speaking about the event itself. 
YouTube Link: HERE

In closing, I believe we are here to awaken to our true divine nature while being in this physical dimension after so much time forgetting or ignoring our natural desire for joy (like when we were a kid!). We value productivity over enjoying life itself. If you don’t have time for joy, time to get off the hamster wheel. 

Sending love, light and abundance your way and radiating it out into the world through all that I do!  Thanks for reading, and BEING human! ❤️

I attended a quarterly support call recently for a group who went through a training. I was struck by the common sentiment of the people who raised their zoom hand to ask questions. Nearly all were doubting themselves in some way. They all had a unique and beautiful way to offer support for clients or family and friends, and yet they doubted their ability or effectiveness. Some times even when presented with evidence of help. They still questioned if they did it “right”. 

Why do we doubt ourselves so much? I don’t know if we would ever feel we are 100% spot on in our choices but I would venture to guess a fairly high rate of success, at some level or by some measurement anyway. Often times the success lies within the learning or growth that was experienced, even if the intended outcome was not achieved. The notion of “failure” is an interesting one. Babies fall down many times as they learn to walk yet it doesn’t mean they failed at walking. 

What would happen and what would life be like if I doubted myself less? Or maybe I prefer to say I wish to trust the Universe more - as it works through me. How much more time and energy would I have available to me if I could do this? I wonder. If I could more often than not, trust the process and see it all as a journey, as a series of experiences that line my path and growth, knowing we are all learning along the way, would’t that make for a happier, healthier person? After all, the best way to learn is by doing! And not always smoothly, perfectly, or quickly. We don’t scold a child for doing something imperfectly while they are learning, why do we do it to ourselves as adults? After all, we continue to learn all our lives. 

I am reminded of the book by Micheal Singer titled “The Surrender Experiment” where he, the author, decided to surrender and basically embrace or say yes to everything that the Universe presented him, such as if he was asked to do something. This is a true story and it might surprise you to hear that through suspended doubt about his abilities or what the future looked like, the experience turned out to be a quite amazing and expansive one! 

Saying yes to everything that comes our way may not be the right thing if we are learning to say no more easily in order to prioritize time for our own self care, better health and sanity. But by staying open to what arises and by tuning into our bodies, we can get better at deciphering what feels right and what doesn’t feel right for us at that time. Often we know when we are saying yes out of guilt or a sense of obligation, rather than a resonance with the request. And sometimes our mind cautions us against saying yes in the ego’s effort to “keep us safe” which often translates to “keep us small” when the feeling we have inside our body feels like jumping for joy or buzzing with excitement about the idea or the possibility! 

Try an experiment. For a week or a month, or even just for a day, allow what every arises to be filtered through your body, your heart and keep the egoic mind out of it. Follow the body’s guidance and then take note of what happens. What does life feel like after a full week or month of it? How did things work out? Sometimes there is a delayed realization of the wisdom, but often we will get the confirmation sooner, that when we listen to our gut, our bodies, our heart, it works out well, sometimes better than our mind imagined and in unexpected ways. Self doubt or imposter syndrome is mind generated and based in fear. Our hearts don’t doubt or fear. 

How can I know that the Universe is working in my favor? Besides the fact that my life over all has been an exciting journey, I share this story. I had bought tickets to a Cirque du Soleil show well in advance to it coming to town. As the date got close I checked in with my daughter but it turned out that she and her boyfriend couldn’t go after all. I reached out to many family and friends to see who else might want to go with me. I did find one friend, but couldn’t find a third person. But as the show date was just days away and no one else had been able to or was even interested, I gave up searching. Seemed so odd that it had been so hard to find people interested in such a neat show. The day prior I was looking at my tickets to figure out what time we should leave and where we should grab dinner, park etc. and realized that I had only purchased two tickets! I thought I remembered buying three. Looking back later, I saw how I had thought there were three, but the grateful part was that the Universe knew I only had two tickets and so only found one other person to go with me. How sad it would have been to have to break it to someone who was excited to go to the show, that oops, I messed up and I didn’t have a ticket for them after all. Or I may have felt so bad, that I didn’t go myself, and sent the other two people off to the show without me.  

I try to remember when something really odd like this is happening, despite my best efforts, to just relax my expectations and to trust. The Universe always has the bigger picture in view. I, however, am limiting my thinking to a specific outcome and a shorter time frame. I wasn’t doubting myself as much as I was doubting the Universe’s help! But it helped me so much more by NOT finding a third guest than it would have by fulfilling my desire in finding one.