I can't recommend enough, Dr. Sue's book "The Energy Codes". I have read it several times and of course have much time and training from and with Dr. Sue, and yet, I embody more of the wisdom each time I revisit it. I invite you to explore the book in community to really help it land so the benefits are magnified!
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As we glance at 2024 in the rear view mirror, while curiously peering forward to see what the 2025 road opens to, I suggest a pause in which we are fully in the moment and in our bodies rather than our busy minds. By focusing the mind on to the body and the moment, we relax. We can begin to train the mind to do this more easily and once it gets used to how wonderful it feels to do so, it can happen more quickly. Just taking a deep belly breath and releasing it with an audible sigh relaxes the autonomic nervous system. It sends the message - all is well, I am safe. Because in this moment, aren’t you? If not, please run for your life or call 911 or what ever you need to do! Or are you actually safe in this moment? I bet in this right now moment, you are. No bear, no fire, no avalanche - right? 

Perhaps you are not, right in this moment, in a state of distress. But even small levels of stress, when constant, can take a toll on our health and make our lives much harder and less pleasant than they could be. 

When I am feeling some level of concern, I can now more easily (not always yet!) notice it for what it is - created by thoughts regarding something that triggered in me, a certain vibration or recognizable feeling that I have labeled anxiety, fear, worry, stress etc.  

But if everything is working in my favor, and not only do I believe this, but I am coming to experience and understand this on a deeper level as I remember to zoom out and look at the big picture, then I can trust what is and not allow my mind to always go into action to look for danger or try to solve it. Nor to push the feeling away.

NOTE - One should not completely shut down uncomfortable feelings. There are no good or bad feelings, they just all are. So give any feeling it’s moment to be acknowledged. Breathe into the belly and exhale. Do this, while still noticing the feeling, until the intensity lessens. You will make better decisions from this new state. Notice that the mind had more to do with how you were feeling in the body then the moment or situation  itself did. It was the thoughts about something rather than the physical happening of that something. When you breathe deeper and slower, the flight or fight instinct is not present and you can use more of your body - like your heart - to engage with the situation or the world.

Since everything is in my favor, I can relax more and remain open to opportunities and possibilities and keep my stress level low. If I let my mind get the better of me, stress tends to rise and I feel worse. If I relax into the truth of a loving Universe, more options flow my way with ease. 

Example. Currently, my client load is quite low, thus I am not generating much income. I know I have a lot to offer, and that what I do offer is valuable to people in their lives. My clients have all loved working with me and have been well served. I know this is my heart and in my mind. Yet, here I sit with little financial growth. I have spoken with a number of people recently who expressed interest in using my help, even if in less traditional ways from what I advertise on my website, and each time I am buoyed up that I could get some more hours and help someone in this way! And yet they have not actually taken the next step to contact me with details. I have resisted getting to much in my head about why this seems to be the case right now.

Also, as I finally moved into my new house this Fall, my tiny house has not sold as quickly as I imagined. The first time I sold it, it happened in two days. But that one ultimately fell through after two months. Ok, because my new house was delayed further than I thought, so I still needed to live there. Worked out for the best.

About the same time, I responded to an ad for part-time work at a local retail store and was immediately hired. I have no retail experience but knew I would be good at customer service. Other benefits include getting to dress up a bit, have a source of reliable income and be more in person with folks, even offering my services if the topic came up! All those things have come to pass and I really love engaging in person with people on a regular basis again.

Options for my assessment of the situation are nearly unlimited, but it is safe to say that one could imagine a few disempowering ones; such as “I just can’t make this business work, or maybe my clients don’t really benefit from the help I give, or maybe I am not meant to do this work, or… fill in your own ideas here. 

If everything is in my favor, and it is, and if everything can be seen as an opportunity, and it can, then let’s look at the possible benefits from lack of clients and the tiny house not selling quickly.

Part-time retail job - seeing lots of friendly faces, chatting with other community members, visitors etc. An opportunity to more routinely enjoy the extravert in me. Dressing nice, with jewelry!

Tiny House not selling fast - Many more people are looking at my tiny house and the video than if it had sold quickly - in this way, I am touching many lives! We all can radiate love and bring forward healing in unforeseen ways. I have received many comments about how the video touched folks!

Recent job potentials - maybe they are not quite what is needed for me (and them) right now, but it is a way to prepare me to think of other ways I can be of service. Perhaps I would not actually enjoy doing what they need done. Or maybe simply, right now is not the ideal time for either of us, but maybe later in 2025 will be.

Not to say I have all these “benefits” accurately figured out and maybe even more or different benefits will be known later, but the point is, I can choose to focus on what is happening as a “problem” or choose to see everything as an opportunity and in my favor. 

A powerful tool in my tool belt thanks to Dr. Sue, her teachings and her book “The Energy Codes” is doing the MPower step with B.E.S.T. (bioenergetic synchronization technique). You can learn more about it on youtube, in her book, or I am happy to teach you, but basically it uses a contralateral exercise to connect the conscious and the subconscious while focusing with love on a desired truth using a positive present tense statement.

I do think, or maybe it is better to say I feel, that part of my “job” here in this lifetime is to be a person to connect with, to engage with, as I hold the space for others to be themselves, or help to hold a container of support on a group zoom call or live event, to be the example of a strong woman, brave explorer, trusting person, loving and kind human, or any number of things that people may be inspired by through me. Ways I am not even aware of, and certainly not “trying” for, but by simply being me, I can inspire! I love to help people. Especially if they actually want the help! Sometimes just the step of asking for help is what brings forth the energy needed to get to a better place. Maybe that is another way I am in service! So many possibilities! None of them, I believe, are bad. Unless I decide they are. 

Have you been able to relax into something unpleasant that when you did, actually brought about a solution with little effort? Have you pushed something to happen, through much pain and effort, that you didn’t enjoy the outcome nearly as much as you expected to? If you look at those with the lens “everything is in my favor” - how does it look to you today?
I hope you will try breathing deeper and noticing sooner, when the mind has run away with things, and then watch what happens. I’d love to hear your examples in the comments below! Or perhaps you wish to make a more formal intention of looking how everything is in your favor, by commenting below on what that looks like for you. 
Blessings of light, love and abundance to you my fellow traveler of life

🤔 What would happen if we all doubted ourselves just a little less often?
So much self doubt in our world! Maybe in part due to social media? Comparison central! Imposter syndrome is a common theme. 
Even “wrong decisions” are not really wrong. They can help us narrow down and provide experiences that a “right decision” simply can’t. I wonder why we spend so much mental and emotional energy in this fear, which is what doubt is at it’s base. What primal fear is at work here - being bad, not being accepted, being judged, disappointing others… ??  I wrote a blog two months ago about doubt and now I want to offer something else. 

A Doubt Less Challenge! Here is how it could work…

For three weeks, agree to notice when doubt arises and pause to acknowledge it. Notice where in your body your feel it. Breathe through that area several times. Reconsider the question or thought. For every 3rd doubt, proceed anyway. (not to be taken literally - an estimated 1/3 of your doubts each day/week). Jot down or journal about every time you do this, regardless if you proceed or not. 

At the end of the three weeks, revisit your list or journal entries. Mark those that you proceeded anyway with a P and those you did not with a N.  Then ask yourself - which of the P’s do you truly regret letting the doubt go. On which of the N’s do you wonder “what if”.  Assess this from the big picture or birds eye view as best you can. 

Let me know if you’d like to do this in tandem! Also great to do on your own. But sometimes we need accountability and fellow journeyers to keep at it.

Are you a human doing or or human being? If I asked “who are you” what would you say? I encourage a deep exploration of these questions. And in this blog I share three offerings by others on a similar theme. Being is enough. Enjoyment is natural. Not lazy. Not time wasting. Our focus on striving, doing, producing, and listening to the nagging voice in our head is not making us happy or healthy. Are we here to produce and then die? Or are we here to be, to live, to love. 

Notice how we value ourselves and others, how we measure our own and others worth. I believe these kinds of conversations help us awaken to the lie we have all been programed to believe, despite our observations and lived experiences. The lie that productivity equals value and worthiness. 

So I offer a quick summary of three related conversations of sort. A book, a podcast and a YouTube video. My summary may be enough for you. But if you feel called to click the links to listen, watch, or read, great! Trust your first instinct. Maybe it is not now. Maybe it is down the road, perhaps even through a different offering that comes across your path. But I love to share what I have loved! I have no connection what-so-ever to these folks. I simply loved what they are sharing.


The book
“The Superego thoughts are the ones that sound like worry - questioning how you’ll be perceived, reminding you for the thirtieth time today what’s on your to-do list, rehearsing an imaginary dialogue with a friend or perceived enemy, as well as the thoughts that call you names or otherwise imply that you’re not good enough.” from Better Days by Neal Allen, pg. 178.

In a nut shell, the book is about learning to distinguish between our ego and our true (heart based) self and what to do with that new awareness. What I really appreciated about Better Days by Neal Allen, which just came out this year, is that it uses simple, short, digestible chapters with stories and some humor thrown in plus just a couple of practices.  Through this short book, anyone can discover the difference between the mind and the super ego, as Neal calls it, and what to do when it is running the show (shaming you, telling you negative and untrue things about yourself…). Your ego was needed as a child growing up learning to safely navigate this world. But you are an adult now and can take control! There is also a reading group guide offered at the end of the book filled mostly with questions a reader might ask followed by Allen’s answers. 
(No link to offer - find it where ever you enjoy books - library, audio, online or local book store.)


The podcast 
This was a gem. I enjoy Glennon’s vulnerability, humor and wit. I fell in love with her guest in this podcast, Devon Price. Young yet wise. The idea that we feel we have to work ourselves to the point of serious health issues, and even then try to push through instead of taking them as the warning sign they are, is so common. Taking time to rest, do things that we enjoy, that bring us fulfillment and recharge our batteries, is not laziness. It is a necessary part of a good life yet we have gotten away from that in our efforts to “be productive” to earn, to provide, to prove our worth and feel valued. We often look outside ourselves tor validation, when the only way we can truly know it and is truly worth anything, is finding where value lives within ourselves.  Other than all the ads (ugh) this is an fab hour, worth a listen!  Click this apple podcast link or visit your favorite podcast depot and search for the title below…
Glennon Doyle’s “We can do hard things” episode 303 titled “Laziness Does Not Exist with Devon Price” https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-can-do-hard-things/id1564530722?i=1000653526239


On YouTube
“Doing is Expensive Being is Free” with Aaron Abke and Kyle Cease.

Non-doership is not the same as doing nothing. It speaks to taking inspired action, going with the flow of life (not pushing the river, as Dr. Sue Morter likes to say). It is not about sitting on the coach in binge watching your favorite show or spending hours lost in social media. That could happen when someone is in big burn out, hitting a wall or very ill. That state wont last forever though. We are creative beings and we like to do things! We have bought into the notion that to be productive and contributing partners or citizens we need to work hard, even at things we hate, to produce tangible wealth or income. Rather than what really matters. Such as creating beauty and joy, being kind, and sharing our hearts with one another, whether that be through a job, helping someone in need, cleaning up a city street, planting a community garden, donating time at a soup kitchen, creating art, growing food etc. It can be found in endeavors that excite you - such as the paid work you do, or what you create and share - blogs, a book, art, services, tools, materials, products, designs etc.

Being vs. doing is about being in your heart, embodying your hearts desires, and tuning in to what your body, heart, gut, higher self, the Universe… is saying to you. Another great hour to spend (they do speak about an in-person event they are planning this June, but there is much here to enjoy with not too much time spent speaking about the event itself. 
YouTube Link: HERE

In closing, I believe we are here to awaken to our true divine nature while being in this physical dimension after so much time forgetting or ignoring our natural desire for joy (like when we were a kid!). We value productivity over enjoying life itself. If you don’t have time for joy, time to get off the hamster wheel. 

Sending love, light and abundance your way and radiating it out into the world through all that I do!  Thanks for reading, and BEING human! ❤️

I attended a quarterly support call recently for a group who went through a training. I was struck by the common sentiment of the people who raised their zoom hand to ask questions. Nearly all were doubting themselves in some way. They all had a unique and beautiful way to offer support for clients or family and friends, and yet they doubted their ability or effectiveness. Some times even when presented with evidence of help. They still questioned if they did it “right”. 

Why do we doubt ourselves so much? I don’t know if we would ever feel we are 100% spot on in our choices but I would venture to guess a fairly high rate of success, at some level or by some measurement anyway. Often times the success lies within the learning or growth that was experienced, even if the intended outcome was not achieved. The notion of “failure” is an interesting one. Babies fall down many times as they learn to walk yet it doesn’t mean they failed at walking. 

What would happen and what would life be like if I doubted myself less? Or maybe I prefer to say I wish to trust the Universe more - as it works through me. How much more time and energy would I have available to me if I could do this? I wonder. If I could more often than not, trust the process and see it all as a journey, as a series of experiences that line my path and growth, knowing we are all learning along the way, would’t that make for a happier, healthier person? After all, the best way to learn is by doing! And not always smoothly, perfectly, or quickly. We don’t scold a child for doing something imperfectly while they are learning, why do we do it to ourselves as adults? After all, we continue to learn all our lives. 

I am reminded of the book by Micheal Singer titled “The Surrender Experiment” where he, the author, decided to surrender and basically embrace or say yes to everything that the Universe presented him, such as if he was asked to do something. This is a true story and it might surprise you to hear that through suspended doubt about his abilities or what the future looked like, the experience turned out to be a quite amazing and expansive one! 

Saying yes to everything that comes our way may not be the right thing if we are learning to say no more easily in order to prioritize time for our own self care, better health and sanity. But by staying open to what arises and by tuning into our bodies, we can get better at deciphering what feels right and what doesn’t feel right for us at that time. Often we know when we are saying yes out of guilt or a sense of obligation, rather than a resonance with the request. And sometimes our mind cautions us against saying yes in the ego’s effort to “keep us safe” which often translates to “keep us small” when the feeling we have inside our body feels like jumping for joy or buzzing with excitement about the idea or the possibility! 

Try an experiment. For a week or a month, or even just for a day, allow what every arises to be filtered through your body, your heart and keep the egoic mind out of it. Follow the body’s guidance and then take note of what happens. What does life feel like after a full week or month of it? How did things work out? Sometimes there is a delayed realization of the wisdom, but often we will get the confirmation sooner, that when we listen to our gut, our bodies, our heart, it works out well, sometimes better than our mind imagined and in unexpected ways. Self doubt or imposter syndrome is mind generated and based in fear. Our hearts don’t doubt or fear. 

How can I know that the Universe is working in my favor? Besides the fact that my life over all has been an exciting journey, I share this story. I had bought tickets to a Cirque du Soleil show well in advance to it coming to town. As the date got close I checked in with my daughter but it turned out that she and her boyfriend couldn’t go after all. I reached out to many family and friends to see who else might want to go with me. I did find one friend, but couldn’t find a third person. But as the show date was just days away and no one else had been able to or was even interested, I gave up searching. Seemed so odd that it had been so hard to find people interested in such a neat show. The day prior I was looking at my tickets to figure out what time we should leave and where we should grab dinner, park etc. and realized that I had only purchased two tickets! I thought I remembered buying three. Looking back later, I saw how I had thought there were three, but the grateful part was that the Universe knew I only had two tickets and so only found one other person to go with me. How sad it would have been to have to break it to someone who was excited to go to the show, that oops, I messed up and I didn’t have a ticket for them after all. Or I may have felt so bad, that I didn’t go myself, and sent the other two people off to the show without me.  

I try to remember when something really odd like this is happening, despite my best efforts, to just relax my expectations and to trust. The Universe always has the bigger picture in view. I, however, am limiting my thinking to a specific outcome and a shorter time frame. I wasn’t doubting myself as much as I was doubting the Universe’s help! But it helped me so much more by NOT finding a third guest than it would have by fulfilling my desire in finding one. 

Loving myself with my heart feels different than knowing with my mind that I love me.
Recently as I was driving in my car, I suddenly FELT self love rather than just thought it. Before this happened, I really didn’t appreciate that I was thinking most of my self love. As in “I should love myself”, or “I am a good person and deserve love” Those are concepts rather than an inner experience. 

It might be easier, certainly quicker, to grasp with our mind what it means to love the natural world, people on the other side of the planet, and ourselves. But when we FEEL love for a thing, including ourself, that is when it has real power.  

Try this. Think and say in your mind “I love myself”.  There might be resistance to even the thought. Your mind might tell you reasons (or many) why you are less than lovable. Don’t listen. Instead, think of someone you really truly love. It could be a pet, a child, even an object or a place. Call this person or thing or place up in your mind and focus on it. Does it start to transform into more of a feeling and not just a thought? Now really feel into the love for this person, place, or thing. Take note and remember what that feels like in your body.  Now imagine yourself or a young version of yourself, doing or appreciating an act of loving kindness, even in nature. Now see if you can feel rather than think about this love. Expand that feeling until it extends out beyond your body. Remember what that feels like.

When you notice that you are not being or feeling love for yourself, or the bully inside your head is saying unkind things, pause that dialog (maybe even say “hi bully inside my head”.) Then recall the sensation of loving or appreciating yourself, nature or someone else. Focus on how that feels and see if you can hold that for even 30 seconds. That love is a feeling more than a thought, seems obvious and yet our thoughts can trick us into “checking the box” of self love without actually loving ourself. 

This may take a little practice. Old habits die hard. But it is kind of fun for me now to pause and really look into the desire in that moment to offer self love and ask “is this more of a notion in my head, or can I feel it in my body”? I want the feeling not the concept of self love to be my default; my new habit. Not because I am perfect or without faults. But because I came into this world as Divine, as a precious being of love, and although I may forget this truth at times, that is my essence.  Loving ourselves isn’t about selfishness or thinking too highly of ourself. Rather it is more about allowing imperfection and mistakes to be ok, inevitable even and for love to be bigger than any of it.

Sometimes on challenging days, I have a difficult time feeling self love. Other days it comes more easily. I don’t try overly hard when the feeling wont come. I know it will again later. And I love that I don’t beat myself up for it. When I think about it, I give it some of my time and attention to find the feeling beyond the thought. And it is getting a little easier and more frequent. I forgive myself for taking so long to get to the heart of loving myself. Even if I fall back into old habits, I know what it feels like now and I know I can feel it again. I can even set an intention to feel it more often. Self love makes me a happier, healthier, kinder person - which gets offered to the world. So it is not a silly waste of time. And the world is worth it. Just like I am worth it. You reading this, are worth it. 

How about you? Is your self love a thought or a feeling? When do you notice a feeling versus a thought, of love? Are there other feelings that you really have been thinking rather than feeling? I’d love to hear what you notice, and if you try my exercise above, what you experienced! 

Do you agree that sometimes we just want something or someone else to fix us? Whether that be a person or a pill - quickly with no change necessary on our part. These days stress and busyness take most of our energy and time. People may believe or say “I am too busy to … make healthier choices, prioritize my self care or health, exercise, meditate, rest, take a class, read etc. What are you to busy to do that you know you should or would like to?

After all, I want what I want (chocolate for me!) and I don’t really want to change anything I am attached to or in the habit of doing, thinking or believing. Right? This could be a coffee, ice cream or, cough cough, chocolate addiction, or things such as criticizing myself or other people, gossiping, interrupting, blaming, focusing on the negative, playing the martyr, etc.  These types of behaviors are much easier to see in other people rather than ourselves. It is actually a gift to notice this in others and to notice what it triggers in us. It seems that the more significant reactions to others, even if it is just in our mind and not expressed outwardly, can offer a pointer at to something we feel bad about doing ourselves. Not always of course. But notice the next time you get really upset with someone else’s behavior. Is it something that you do sometimes, and be honest. Or maybe yours creates a similar feeling or effect even if the act or words are different?

At the 4 way stop - treated as such because the traffic light was out, I should have turned left AFTER the car across from me went straight. I know better but they hesitated and I went. At the very next intersection, again with no working lights, I quickly chastised (in my mind) a guy who went clearly out of turn. How soon I forgot my own oops! 

The old adage - the pot calling the kettle black, or the passage from the bible to notice that our outstretched hand pointing one finger at another person, has the remain three fingers pointing back at ourselves. We are all hypocritical at times. It is human nature. We can also become more aware of the tendency and that is the first step. Awareness. 

I used to get very defensive very quickly. I so strongly didn’t want to be thought of as wrong or bad, I would get there quickly to block that uncomfortable feeling before I even had a breath to honestly look at what was being said. I have made good progress with this and am more open to criticism, although it is still not at all comfortable. I am a perfectionist, an Enneagram 1, and type A personality. I want to be right and good! To a fault. The dark or backside of the desire itself. Being aware of this tendency helps me to look at a situation differently. For those times I don’t see it in the moment, I am more available to reflect with some level of self honestly later and make amends, if that is needed, with the other person. I am also more able to be honest in the moment with myself and the other. Still a work in progress for sure, but much headway has been made. A little easier with friends than with intimate relationships, especially my partner as we seem to be BIG triggers for one another! 

Lasting change comes from shifting the energies around a trigger or belief. There are many ways to do this. I teach some of them in my Energy Codes work.  Sometimes it is helpful to get into the details and other times it helps to stay neutral and get to the underlying or core feelings and not get the mind to involved in the where, when, who or why. Like philosopher John Gray said “what you feel, you can heal.” 

Your belief about something are often more impactful to its effect on you than the biology of it. As proven by the placebo effect. Come to find out, believing that the ice cream will add a pound to your thighs is more likely to add the pound than the ice cream itself. This is not news really, it has been proven and stated for many many years by gurus, scientist and philosophers alike. We turned away from it a while back and are just recently getting back to it. And thus we continue to underutilize our greatest gift. Freedom to choose! A belief about a situation, person, thing is really a choice. We just got so used to believing our beliefs, we forgot that we can change them! People change their beliefs all the time. You can decide and do not have to wait until someone else proves to you beyond a doubt, to change a belief. Even proof doesn’t always shift it for some. Statistics that show flying on an airplane is safer than driving in a car, does not convince some people that their fear of flying is optional. 

Where or when do you wish you could take a pill or have one doctor visit or other helpful session, but make no changes in either your beliefs or choices? When do you wish you could continue a known bad habit and not have your body point out to you that it wished you wouldn’t do that? Even if it is a tendency to be late. It would require you to do what differently? Get curious. When you react strongly to a behavior in another, note that and take a few minutes (later if you can’t at the time) to be as neutral an observer of yourself as possible and see what comes up. What would happen if you allowed yourself and others to do that thing? It might just free something inside you that ultimately shifts your experience with yourself and others. Share below in the comments about your discoveries!

Curious thing about this human condition. We have both the wisdom within (following our gut, our own intuitive knowing) AND sometimes we need help from outside ourselves (from one another). 

The body is self healing and when we listen to our body, it can provide insights that can result in relief from pain and suffering that meds just can’t. It could be simple, but is not always nor often, easy. And it is also true that we need help from others now and then. We were never meant to live in isolation or as a hermit. Not to deny that a few souls may come to try out extreme isolation, remoteness or independence. The majority of humans however are here to be part of a larger family, community, the largest of which is humanity itself. 

Ever notice that simply calling a doctor for an apt. often is immediately proceeded with feeling better? This has to do with the energy shift from fear of a disturbance (sickness, pain etc.) to hope, slight relief or dialing down of the fear energy. You perceive that you are on your way to receiving some kind of help, support, fix, answers or what have you. 

It is also at the base of why the placebo effect is a real phenomena. When people believe that they will be helped by a pill, even if the pill given them is really a sugar pill and contains nothing of the supposed helping ingredient, they experience relief and healing. Measurable healing! Not just self reported. 

I am excited to say that we are well on our way to being able to grasp this and use this to our betterment. It is a mind over matter kind of thing. Our minds are powerful and sometimes, to our own detriment, we focus entirely on the thinking mind and value that at the expense of listening to the other signs offered. Those may be more like a subtle knowing, a feeling, or a sensation in the body, that we ignore in place of listing to our thoughts, others, the internet, etc.

But greater and greater attention and awareness has been shared recently, backed by quantum science and new sciences like epigenetic, that have shown why phenomenon’s such as the placebo effect and beliefs are more a determinant of a persons relationship to their gene expression and thus health than even heredity. 

Scientists such as Dr. Joe Dispenza, Dr. Bruce Lipton, and my teacher Dr. Sue Morter and others, have shared with the world their findings with regards to our own abilities to heal and the role our beliefs play. I wont try to relay their teachings here, as I am no scientist, but their message of self empowered healing can be found in their books, on YouTube and their websites. My favorites include:

Dr. Joe Dispenza’s books “Becoming Supernatural” and “You are the Placebo” 
Dr. Bruce Lipton’s book “The Honeymoon Effect” 
Dr. Sue Morter’s book “The Energy Codes” 

So even though I am a remote healer and am a facilitator/teacher and experiencer myself of Dr. Sue’s Energy Codes work, sometimes I need others help. Once in a while it is simply to trigger my own awareness of what needs to be done or at times, provide the relief through the practices they offer.  It is sometimes a relief to bring an issue to someone else, such as my acupuncturist or holistic health provider, and know that I will receive support and relief from something I just can’t seem to shake.

We are very capable and do a lot for ourselves. But we don’t live in a vacuum. We also long for connection. However, relying on others for most all our health and well being, is the same as ignoring or giving a great power away. And often this goes along with wanting that quick fix, a pill, but no change in our behavior, habits, or beliefs. Such as - give me a pill so I can continue to not exercise, snack on junk, order my daily favorite high sugar caffeine drink with whipped cream, etc. =

it is good we are both needed, needy and can also take care of ourselves. Balanced and organized I’d say. Perfect really. Free will! So do what you can, heal what you can, do the self care, explore the self help, gain wisdom from learning and also ask for help, connection and love! It is all good in balance! I embed love into this message for your own highest good, and internal knowing. Loving this journey - together!

Eyes being opened can be a bit like 20/20 vision or hindsight. A different way of seeing things than we experienced before. Which can be felt both as a good feeling and a bad one. For example, my friend wasn’t on board with feeling excited about his new son-in-law. I thought he was missing what a great guy he was and felt bad for everyone that my friend didn’t agree. Perhaps nobody would be quite good enough for his daughter. Of course her last choices had not been exemplary. But I really thought this one was close enough. Not perfect, nobody is. But lately, my eyes have been opened enough to see what my friend may have seen that he didn’t like. Again, nobody is perfect and we all have things we are here to learn and ways in which we can grow and change. If we waited around for the person who always made healthy choices and engaged in ways of being which were always appropriate, we would never partner up. This is probably why love is blind. 

But now I see that my own judgement toward my friend was unfair as he could clearly see some things which I didn’t. And I feel like I can read people fairly well. So when I witnessed several different things recently that clued me into another perspective, I was able to look at my own assessment as just that - my assessment. This allowed what was seen by another, which I had missed, as another possibility with some truth embedded in it.

This experience was perfect to help me remember that my view is just one view, from one vantage point. Things are likely to be missed. In fact it is inevitable because by definition our vantage point eliminates other vantage points. Simply looking out of our own eyes, even if we can turn our head, we see only what we can view from where we stand. We can’t see below, around a corner, or from the top down. But often, it all feels complete and accurate to us in that moment. Which is fine because otherwise we would not get far or much done in our day fearing we have incomplete information and can’t proceed. it’s not possible to be looking for all perspectives at all times. But you will know when it is important to consider alternatives, because it will matter to your mind, or heart by coming back to your awareness again and again. That is when to step back, pause and reevaluate. It can seem time consuming at first, but the effort is worth it as it will grow those muscle needed and become much easier and quicker in the future. Just the awareness of this is a huge step in the right direction. 

What should you do or how to start? First try relaxing your judgment, wishes, and expectations. Tune into your heart and the love that resides there. If you were a bird, with no connection to any particular person moving around on the ground below where you were flying, what might you notice? Here is one example. Maybe you see the Mom struggling to put her uncooperative child in the car seat to drive to the store, then during the drive the child wines and cries about not being able to play in the yard, later seeing that same child asking for all the cookies in the store and the mom finally loosing her patience. If you had just been the next shopper over in the cookie isle, you might have made a quick judgement of the Mom that was based on a very small sample size of data. 

Now be the bird and re-fly over the expanded situation you experienced yourself. Maybe even months or years into the past. Not that you will know exactly what transpired, but you may open your mind to possibilities that you had not considered previously. And see how moments flow into other moments, and even you as the bird, can’t see it all. Things are hidden from your view. By knowing yourself to be both the judge and the judged, and your actions certainly seem reasonable given your previous experiences, know that is the case for everyone. 

This allows your nervous system to calm to the point you will have much more capacity for empathy, understand, compassion and open heartedness toward others. And toward yourself as well. We are influenced by the world around us, and sometimes we are better at dealing with it than others. It is all part of the journey here on this beautiful planet. Embrace more situations instead of judging them.
​A freeing sentiment!