Are you a human doing or or human being? If I asked “who are you” what would you say? I encourage a deep exploration of these questions. And in this blog I share three offerings by others on a similar theme. Being is enough. Enjoyment is natural. Not lazy. Not time wasting. Our focus on striving, doing, producing, and listening to the nagging voice in our head is not making us happy or healthy. Are we here to produce and then die? Or are we here to be, to live, to love. 

Notice how we value ourselves and others, how we measure our own and others worth. I believe these kinds of conversations help us awaken to the lie we have all been programed to believe, despite our observations and lived experiences. The lie that productivity equals value and worthiness. 

So I offer a quick summary of three related conversations of sort. A book, a podcast and a YouTube video. My summary may be enough for you. But if you feel called to click the links to listen, watch, or read, great! Trust your first instinct. Maybe it is not now. Maybe it is down the road, perhaps even through a different offering that comes across your path. But I love to share what I have loved! I have no connection what-so-ever to these folks. I simply loved what they are sharing.


The book
“The Superego thoughts are the ones that sound like worry - questioning how you’ll be perceived, reminding you for the thirtieth time today what’s on your to-do list, rehearsing an imaginary dialogue with a friend or perceived enemy, as well as the thoughts that call you names or otherwise imply that you’re not good enough.” from Better Days by Neal Allen, pg. 178.

In a nut shell, the book is about learning to distinguish between our ego and our true (heart based) self and what to do with that new awareness. What I really appreciated about Better Days by Neal Allen, which just came out this year, is that it uses simple, short, digestible chapters with stories and some humor thrown in plus just a couple of practices.  Through this short book, anyone can discover the difference between the mind and the super ego, as Neal calls it, and what to do when it is running the show (shaming you, telling you negative and untrue things about yourself…). Your ego was needed as a child growing up learning to safely navigate this world. But you are an adult now and can take control! There is also a reading group guide offered at the end of the book filled mostly with questions a reader might ask followed by Allen’s answers. 
(No link to offer - find it where ever you enjoy books - library, audio, online or local book store.)


The podcast 
This was a gem. I enjoy Glennon’s vulnerability, humor and wit. I fell in love with her guest in this podcast, Devon Price. Young yet wise. The idea that we feel we have to work ourselves to the point of serious health issues, and even then try to push through instead of taking them as the warning sign they are, is so common. Taking time to rest, do things that we enjoy, that bring us fulfillment and recharge our batteries, is not laziness. It is a necessary part of a good life yet we have gotten away from that in our efforts to “be productive” to earn, to provide, to prove our worth and feel valued. We often look outside ourselves tor validation, when the only way we can truly know it and is truly worth anything, is finding where value lives within ourselves.  Other than all the ads (ugh) this is an fab hour, worth a listen!  Click this apple podcast link or visit your favorite podcast depot and search for the title below…
Glennon Doyle’s “We can do hard things” episode 303 titled “Laziness Does Not Exist with Devon Price” https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-can-do-hard-things/id1564530722?i=1000653526239


On YouTube
“Doing is Expensive Being is Free” with Aaron Abke and Kyle Cease.

Non-doership is not the same as doing nothing. It speaks to taking inspired action, going with the flow of life (not pushing the river, as Dr. Sue Morter likes to say). It is not about sitting on the coach in binge watching your favorite show or spending hours lost in social media. That could happen when someone is in big burn out, hitting a wall or very ill. That state wont last forever though. We are creative beings and we like to do things! We have bought into the notion that to be productive and contributing partners or citizens we need to work hard, even at things we hate, to produce tangible wealth or income. Rather than what really matters. Such as creating beauty and joy, being kind, and sharing our hearts with one another, whether that be through a job, helping someone in need, cleaning up a city street, planting a community garden, donating time at a soup kitchen, creating art, growing food etc. It can be found in endeavors that excite you - such as the paid work you do, or what you create and share - blogs, a book, art, services, tools, materials, products, designs etc.

Being vs. doing is about being in your heart, embodying your hearts desires, and tuning in to what your body, heart, gut, higher self, the Universe… is saying to you. Another great hour to spend (they do speak about an in-person event they are planning this June, but there is much here to enjoy with not too much time spent speaking about the event itself. 
YouTube Link: HERE

In closing, I believe we are here to awaken to our true divine nature while being in this physical dimension after so much time forgetting or ignoring our natural desire for joy (like when we were a kid!). We value productivity over enjoying life itself. If you don’t have time for joy, time to get off the hamster wheel. 

Sending love, light and abundance your way and radiating it out into the world through all that I do!  Thanks for reading, and BEING human! ❤️

You can make a difference in reducing harmful greenhouse gases every single day by reducing or eliminating throwing food into the garbage and thus landfills. Tossed out food is a waste of your money and the energy that produced it and brought it to your table as well as stored it in your fridge or freezer. Please consider how you might let less food get to the point of tossing it out, and when you do need to, place it in a compost or worm bin instead of the garbage can.  Check out my short video below with suggestions and comment here or on my Youtube channel if you have ideas, questions or wish to share what you do to waste less food. We can all do this! Thank you in advance for your time and effort, because it is estimated that a 60% reduction in food waste translates to a 7% reduction in total greenhouse gas emissions. That is big!

https://youtu.be/3KvMYu2BNFo

I attended a quarterly support call recently for a group who went through a training. I was struck by the common sentiment of the people who raised their zoom hand to ask questions. Nearly all were doubting themselves in some way. They all had a unique and beautiful way to offer support for clients or family and friends, and yet they doubted their ability or effectiveness. Some times even when presented with evidence of help. They still questioned if they did it “right”. 

Why do we doubt ourselves so much? I don’t know if we would ever feel we are 100% spot on in our choices but I would venture to guess a fairly high rate of success, at some level or by some measurement anyway. Often times the success lies within the learning or growth that was experienced, even if the intended outcome was not achieved. The notion of “failure” is an interesting one. Babies fall down many times as they learn to walk yet it doesn’t mean they failed at walking. 

What would happen and what would life be like if I doubted myself less? Or maybe I prefer to say I wish to trust the Universe more - as it works through me. How much more time and energy would I have available to me if I could do this? I wonder. If I could more often than not, trust the process and see it all as a journey, as a series of experiences that line my path and growth, knowing we are all learning along the way, would’t that make for a happier, healthier person? After all, the best way to learn is by doing! And not always smoothly, perfectly, or quickly. We don’t scold a child for doing something imperfectly while they are learning, why do we do it to ourselves as adults? After all, we continue to learn all our lives. 

I am reminded of the book by Micheal Singer titled “The Surrender Experiment” where he, the author, decided to surrender and basically embrace or say yes to everything that the Universe presented him, such as if he was asked to do something. This is a true story and it might surprise you to hear that through suspended doubt about his abilities or what the future looked like, the experience turned out to be a quite amazing and expansive one! 

Saying yes to everything that comes our way may not be the right thing if we are learning to say no more easily in order to prioritize time for our own self care, better health and sanity. But by staying open to what arises and by tuning into our bodies, we can get better at deciphering what feels right and what doesn’t feel right for us at that time. Often we know when we are saying yes out of guilt or a sense of obligation, rather than a resonance with the request. And sometimes our mind cautions us against saying yes in the ego’s effort to “keep us safe” which often translates to “keep us small” when the feeling we have inside our body feels like jumping for joy or buzzing with excitement about the idea or the possibility! 

Try an experiment. For a week or a month, or even just for a day, allow what every arises to be filtered through your body, your heart and keep the egoic mind out of it. Follow the body’s guidance and then take note of what happens. What does life feel like after a full week or month of it? How did things work out? Sometimes there is a delayed realization of the wisdom, but often we will get the confirmation sooner, that when we listen to our gut, our bodies, our heart, it works out well, sometimes better than our mind imagined and in unexpected ways. Self doubt or imposter syndrome is mind generated and based in fear. Our hearts don’t doubt or fear. 

How can I know that the Universe is working in my favor? Besides the fact that my life over all has been an exciting journey, I share this story. I had bought tickets to a Cirque du Soleil show well in advance to it coming to town. As the date got close I checked in with my daughter but it turned out that she and her boyfriend couldn’t go after all. I reached out to many family and friends to see who else might want to go with me. I did find one friend, but couldn’t find a third person. But as the show date was just days away and no one else had been able to or was even interested, I gave up searching. Seemed so odd that it had been so hard to find people interested in such a neat show. The day prior I was looking at my tickets to figure out what time we should leave and where we should grab dinner, park etc. and realized that I had only purchased two tickets! I thought I remembered buying three. Looking back later, I saw how I had thought there were three, but the grateful part was that the Universe knew I only had two tickets and so only found one other person to go with me. How sad it would have been to have to break it to someone who was excited to go to the show, that oops, I messed up and I didn’t have a ticket for them after all. Or I may have felt so bad, that I didn’t go myself, and sent the other two people off to the show without me.  

I try to remember when something really odd like this is happening, despite my best efforts, to just relax my expectations and to trust. The Universe always has the bigger picture in view. I, however, am limiting my thinking to a specific outcome and a shorter time frame. I wasn’t doubting myself as much as I was doubting the Universe’s help! But it helped me so much more by NOT finding a third guest than it would have by fulfilling my desire in finding one. 

Loving myself with my heart feels different than knowing with my mind that I love me.
Recently as I was driving in my car, I suddenly FELT self love rather than just thought it. Before this happened, I really didn’t appreciate that I was thinking most of my self love. As in “I should love myself”, or “I am a good person and deserve love” Those are concepts rather than an inner experience. 

It might be easier, certainly quicker, to grasp with our mind what it means to love the natural world, people on the other side of the planet, and ourselves. But when we FEEL love for a thing, including ourself, that is when it has real power.  

Try this. Think and say in your mind “I love myself”.  There might be resistance to even the thought. Your mind might tell you reasons (or many) why you are less than lovable. Don’t listen. Instead, think of someone you really truly love. It could be a pet, a child, even an object or a place. Call this person or thing or place up in your mind and focus on it. Does it start to transform into more of a feeling and not just a thought? Now really feel into the love for this person, place, or thing. Take note and remember what that feels like in your body.  Now imagine yourself or a young version of yourself, doing or appreciating an act of loving kindness, even in nature. Now see if you can feel rather than think about this love. Expand that feeling until it extends out beyond your body. Remember what that feels like.

When you notice that you are not being or feeling love for yourself, or the bully inside your head is saying unkind things, pause that dialog (maybe even say “hi bully inside my head”.) Then recall the sensation of loving or appreciating yourself, nature or someone else. Focus on how that feels and see if you can hold that for even 30 seconds. That love is a feeling more than a thought, seems obvious and yet our thoughts can trick us into “checking the box” of self love without actually loving ourself. 

This may take a little practice. Old habits die hard. But it is kind of fun for me now to pause and really look into the desire in that moment to offer self love and ask “is this more of a notion in my head, or can I feel it in my body”? I want the feeling not the concept of self love to be my default; my new habit. Not because I am perfect or without faults. But because I came into this world as Divine, as a precious being of love, and although I may forget this truth at times, that is my essence.  Loving ourselves isn’t about selfishness or thinking too highly of ourself. Rather it is more about allowing imperfection and mistakes to be ok, inevitable even and for love to be bigger than any of it.

Sometimes on challenging days, I have a difficult time feeling self love. Other days it comes more easily. I don’t try overly hard when the feeling wont come. I know it will again later. And I love that I don’t beat myself up for it. When I think about it, I give it some of my time and attention to find the feeling beyond the thought. And it is getting a little easier and more frequent. I forgive myself for taking so long to get to the heart of loving myself. Even if I fall back into old habits, I know what it feels like now and I know I can feel it again. I can even set an intention to feel it more often. Self love makes me a happier, healthier, kinder person - which gets offered to the world. So it is not a silly waste of time. And the world is worth it. Just like I am worth it. You reading this, are worth it. 

How about you? Is your self love a thought or a feeling? When do you notice a feeling versus a thought, of love? Are there other feelings that you really have been thinking rather than feeling? I’d love to hear what you notice, and if you try my exercise above, what you experienced!