 Eyes being opened can be a bit like 20/20 vision or hindsight. A different way of seeing things than we experienced before. Which can be felt both as a good feeling and a bad one. For example, my friend wasn’t on board with feeling excited about his new son-in-law. I thought he was missing what a great guy he was and felt bad for everyone that my friend didn’t agree. Perhaps nobody would be quite good enough for his daughter. Of course her last choices had not been exemplary. But I really thought this one was close enough. Not perfect, nobody is. But lately, my eyes have been opened enough to see what my friend may have seen that he didn’t like. Again, nobody is perfect and we all have things we are here to learn and ways in which we can grow and change. If we waited around for the person who always made healthy choices and engaged in ways of being which were always appropriate, we would never partner up. This is probably why love is blind.
But now I see that my own judgement toward my friend was unfair as he could clearly see some things which I didn’t. And I feel like I can read people fairly well. So when I witnessed several different things recently that clued me into another perspective, I was able to look at my own assessment as just that - my assessment. This allowed what was seen by another, which I had missed, as another possibility with some truth embedded in it. This experience was perfect to help me remember that my view is just one view, from one vantage point. Things are likely to be missed. In fact it is inevitable because by definition our vantage point eliminates other vantage points. Simply looking out of our own eyes, even if we can turn our head, we see only what we can view from where we stand. We can’t see below, around a corner, or from the top down. But often, it all feels complete and accurate to us in that moment. Which is fine because otherwise we would not get far or much done in our day fearing we have incomplete information and can’t proceed. it’s not possible to be looking for all perspectives at all times. But you will know when it is important to consider alternatives, because it will matter to your mind, or heart by coming back to your awareness again and again. That is when to step back, pause and reevaluate. It can seem time consuming at first, but the effort is worth it as it will grow those muscle needed and become much easier and quicker in the future. Just the awareness of this is a huge step in the right direction. What should you do or how to start? First try relaxing your judgment, wishes, and expectations. Tune into your heart and the love that resides there. If you were a bird, with no connection to any particular person moving around on the ground below where you were flying, what might you notice? Here is one example. Maybe you see the Mom struggling to put her uncooperative child in the car seat to drive to the store, then during the drive the child wines and cries about not being able to play in the yard, later seeing that same child asking for all the cookies in the store and the mom finally loosing her patience. If you had just been the next shopper over in the cookie isle, you might have made a quick judgement of the Mom that was based on a very small sample size of data. Now be the bird and re-fly over the expanded situation you experienced yourself. Maybe even months or years into the past. Not that you will know exactly what transpired, but you may open your mind to possibilities that you had not considered previously. And see how moments flow into other moments, and even you as the bird, can’t see it all. Things are hidden from your view. By knowing yourself to be both the judge and the judged, and your actions certainly seem reasonable given your previous experiences, know that is the case for everyone. This allows your nervous system to calm to the point you will have much more capacity for empathy, understand, compassion and open heartedness toward others. And toward yourself as well. We are influenced by the world around us, and sometimes we are better at dealing with it than others. It is all part of the journey here on this beautiful planet. Embrace more situations instead of judging them. A freeing sentiment!
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 Every wonder why some situations bother you way more than others? Ever think it obvious that another persons actions or in-actions was lacking consideration or self awareness and think - how could they not see it!? When I am annoyed with someone for their behavior, thinking it rude and inconsiderate, I can allow that to feel true AND know that the “perpetrator” might not be aware nor see it that way. And perhaps they also have something going on under the surface, stress or depression, pain or hopelessness, that effects their decisions.
I am an Enneagram One. So frustration is my go to when triggered or stressed. I can now accept this about myself. If I can’t accept this, then I will deny it and never seek to improve or shift, apologize, or take other action to make things better within myself or with others in my world. But perfection, despite my perfectionist tendencies, is not the goal. People are going to frustrate me at times, and it is not up to the world to behave how I would like it to. In fact, I hope it doesn’t. This is how the world shows ME where or what I need to work on! This is not about beating myself up or feeling I am the bad guy. There is no bad guy. Just expanded awareness opportunities. The more we experience these kinds of things, the better we will be at pausing before we get into full story creations, judge mode or worse, say something hurtful. Until we get really good at it, at which time, we wont need as many situations to present opportunities to practice! That sounds kind of nice, doesn’t it? In this recent frustration, he was taking on the phone, while also taking to people in the kitchen, then took a plate of pancakes, put on the butter and syrup, sat down at the table and started eating while still talking on the phone. Conversations between many trying to happen in the same space as someone who is on the phone just 2 feet away. To me it felt obviously inconsiderate. I could choose to get into all the reasons why this was so, with plenty of other options to handle it better. But I wish to come from love in more life situations and this provided an opportunity to practice. So I watched my thoughts, my reactions and just kept myself as the observer and did some intentional breathing. Not staying neutral per say, as I had many opinions in my head about it, but didn’t say anything out loud. I wanted to first dig deeper into why it bothered me so much and to what, if anything, was the appropriate and helpful thing to do or say, either in the moment, or later. So I dug down. Besides feeling inconsiderate, If I was honest, it also added to my “proof” in my belief that some in this family are often clueless of their impact on others around them, which can feel to me to be selfish and self centered. Very loving, helpful, generous people at the same time. How could both be true? All families have their things. Both enjoyable and endearing while also having those things, maybe even the same ones, be challenging as well! This is the dualistic nature of living in the 3rd dimension and our classroom for experimenting, trying out different ways of being and doing, and learning more about ourselves just as much as about others and the nature of the world around us. Digging a little deeper I had the thought - do I look for these flaws in defense of my feelings about my own family? Which is not nearly as close. Still loving, helpful, generous with each other and the larger community. But we have some estrangement in our family and don’t spend nearly as much time connecting. So maybe I was just looking for ways to soften the comparison and the desire that my family be different, through fault finding somewhere else. And bingo! There lies the crux of my frustration. Not as much as the act itself, which still could also be inconsiderate, but more frustrating for me because of all these other things. My thoughts created the discomfort and frustration much much more than the act itself. And I can own that. And get better at noticing this in order to turn down the level on my frustration meter sooner. By practicing my breath work (offered through the Energy Codes) when things are calm and fine so that I can do it when triggered, and by remembering that there may be more to my feelings and waiting to look at things after the fact (or not), I can push the pause button then and there. This allows much more room for comfort in the moment and less stress hormone released into my system. So worth it as I am a much happier person and don’t ruminate nearly as long on things that bothered me. Which is huge! Much of our time is spent thinking about the past, or planning or worrying about the future. Breath work practices and learning to look at things differently, really shift the amount of time spent thinking unpleasant thoughts; thoughts which translate to stress hormones in the body. Calming the mind and avoiding getting activated, can ultimately provide a better internal state, and thus improved health and well being. I love to share these practices with others! My wish is for more and more human beings to be able to live in a calmer state more often. Think about what our world would be like if this were the case. Sounds, nice, doesn’t it?  This may be a bit off topic, but it may be of long-term importance. After years of digestive issues and extreme discomfort, bloated belly and major frustration, I stopped eating gluten even though I didn’t test allergic to it, and felt SO much better. Recently, I have confirmed to myself that I am not allergic to gluten but rather to US wheat. It has been stated that the modified wheat germ of the US in no way resembles what it did just 50 years ago. I think my body can’t recognize parts of those modified molecules and so reacts to this “unknown” through an inflammatory response. After eliminating gluten, I have also eliminated brain fog along with the perpetual gas, loose bowels and the like. When traveling in European countries I have been able to eat their bread and baked goods with no adverse effects.
I also recently discovered Einkorn Flour, an ancient grain, that I also tolerate just fine. It is naturally lower in gluten but not gluten free. Next came a local pasta maker that imports her wheat direct from Italy. She had sold some of her noodle using Einkorn flour and I first tried that with no adverse effects. But when that flour became cost prohibitive and she stopped making pasta from it, I ventured to try her Italian wheat pastas. To my great delight, I found I could eat that just fine as well! (Her pasta is amazing and the subject of another blog post in the works.) I hadn’t tried the made in Italy dried pasta at the grocery store until this week. I gave it a test run., and… fine! How wonderful! Despite the much improved options for gluten free items, I now know that if something is not available or a gluten free option is a very poor substitute, I can look for other options that are from European wheat. Not likely a lot out there yet, but things change quickly these days and I am confident I am not the only “gluten free” eater that has discovered this. It is always nice to have more options to some extent (too many and we can’t choose) but the real aha is the fact that as the industry continue to modify our food to be more resistant to pests, to hold up better getting to market, to be brighter in color, not have seeds, or what have you, it could be inadvertently contributing to the rise is health issues for some of us. I know strawberries, even organic, big and beautiful, are almost tasteless any more unless you buy them from a local farmer. Combined with the fact that most fresh strawberries come in non-recyclable clamshell plastic containers, I so rarely buy them. Only from local farmers in season or else frozen (in a ziplock bag I can reuse many times over) although even those are lower in taste than what I remember from when I was young. So at what cost are we supposedly “improving” some of our basic food building blocks such as wheat? To quote Dr. Malcom from the movie Jurassic Park “Your scientist were so preoccupied with whether or not they could, they didn’t stop to think if they should”.
Humans are curious creatures, are we not? We want big and impressive! Then we want small and simple. I live in a tiny house right now. But I used to live in a 2,600 s.f. home. I loved both. But neither would have worked in reverse. We change and along with it, our needs and desires and then the world around us. Yet, we often struggle to fully embrace change. The mind likes predictability and familiar!
So much of what we know we should do, we struggle to actually do. Like get enough quality sleep. Or eat whole foods closer to their original state, rather than overly processed with additional chemicals to preserve them. Things in moderation, including coffee, alcohol, sweets etc. We know those things are not the best for us, and yet we almost crave them and tend to over indulge. Our grocery stores are filled to the brim with them! We know that producing plastic items that never fully breakdown, over time pile up, add to pollution and leak toxins into our already overly toxic environment. If it is true that each of us consumes a credit card size of plastic each WEEK - why do we keep approving new plastic manufacturing plants? Perhaps we are asleep at the wheel. We prefer blissful ignorance. We just want things to stay the same. Until we don’t. Or can’t. We think we don’t have time to be aware and make better choices or change, we rely on quick, simple, easy and justify it because we are very busy. And yet our lives are filling up with problems that need our time, attention and often more of our money. Not exactly blissful. An abundance of cancers, chronic diseases, physical limitations on our actives due to our ill-health. We have polluted soils and water and we KNOW how & why! And yet here we are, looking for ways to allow producers and industries to continue business as usual, looking for “solutions” that help them continue profiting a few at the expense of many. Some plastic is useful, yes. But we are swimming in it. Quite literally! Have you swam in an ocean or been to a beach lately? Watch your step! Broken plastic pieces are sharp. We have identified a wide number of things that cause cancer, including and maybe primarily, stress. Instead of going to the source, the reason for the stress for example, and alleviating that, we spend tons of resources to “fight” cancer. It is like allowing someone to poke us in the eye (or worse, poke ourselves) and wonder why our eyes are red, blurry, hurt and we can’t see well. Rather than look to the source, the poke itself, we spend time and money researching and trying new eye drops, stronger glasses etc. We are killing off our bees with pesticides created to increase crop yields. Bees are a necessity for the pollination of those same crops! Without them we wont have crops! We are fracking and polluting our water. We already know of alternate cleaner energy solutions. We need water more than energy! And our crops need clean water. Even we are made of 75% water - so is Mother Earth. We understand the cycle of water and yet apparently we are ok with polluting it and thus ourselves. In which ways are you supporting the current state of insanity? What things do you already know and yet don’t follow through on? What do you want to change for yourself? Do you want to eat foods grown closer to home, closer to how nature grew it? Do you want to slow down enough to rest well each night? How about living in a enjoyably clean and tidy space free of excess stuff and clutter? Do you want to spend more time with those you love and/or doing things that bring you joy? Do you want to stop buying things in container that stick around on this planet longer than you will? Do you wish to experience more balanced between “doing” and “being” human? There is an energy and emotional reason for much of what we do or don’t do. Maybe subconsciously we don’t feel worthy enough. Sometimes we hide behind our illness, weight or ignorance. We may feel powerless to impact our world, feeling like we can’t possibly matter that much or worse, assume the victim role. So we continue along the same path, continue to buy and consume what isn’t good for us (media too!). So what can you do? Start by writing down an intention. What is one thing you can change today? Find that thing and do it (or don’t do it if that fits) again tomorrow. And the next day. Stick with it for a month and then assess your life - still ok with the change? Once that becomes normal and feels good, then look for something else to try, give up, or otherwise be of benefit to yourself and/or Mother Earth. Gradual steps will be more likely successful than big changes all at once. Although that can work too for some! When we change, our world changes. It can’t be any other way. You have choices. What world do you want to live in tomorrow? Shift your thoughts and actions and see what happens to bring about that desired world. Big house or Tiny; both are good. At the right times. My needs changed so I shifted and the world around me shifted to accommodate. Please share your intention(s) or experience in the comments below. I’d love to hear about it!  As I sit on my little grey couch and gaze past the white shiplap walls and out the tall picture window at the trees and sky, I am filled with peace. I am finally here. Nearly a year later than anticipated, but hey, who’s keeping track? Sigh. But I am here! I am in! I am… SO excited! My tiny is all I anticipated! I moved all my things over last week. I did it all myself and that actually worked very well. Not only did I think there wasn’t enough to move (always more than you think!) to get help from a friend, I HAD to do it one car load at a time. Because I had to find homes for all the stuff before I could bring in more stuff. So several cars showing up at once with all my items would have been very hard to handle. There is no garage or even a covered area to have things sit outside until I had room to bring it inside. Although I was wiped out by weeks end, it was what needed to happen. And I had FUN doing it!
FIRSTS! First shower (plenty big) and first morning walk (new trails to explore). I used my oven for the first time. Great! I used the washer/dryer combo too. Not as great as it squeaked and smelled funny. Not a good sign. I have a call in on that one. First use of my new wheel barrel, boot brush (the mud here is out of control!) and machete - lots of blackberries to hack through! It is wild and untamed land. Which is cool, but the blackberries- sheesh! They are resilient little buggers! I also re-heated my first meal without a microwave. I pulled items out of my cute little Unique brand fridge about 40 min. prior, then on low heat in a small fry pan, reheated the chicken, then swapped it out and added the left over roasted veggies. Worked better than the microwave in this case as it didn’t mush the veggies nor dry out the chicken. I have been heating my milk on the stove for my Chai Latte - it’s actually frothier and more fun than heating milk in the microwave. Go figure! It is so cute and fun to be in this cozy space! It is like playing house, or the playhouse out in the yard I never had as a child. I used to love to make forts as a kid. Whether inside using couch pillows and blankets, or out in the woods using downed tree branches or behind a bush. I was always building a little home! I also feel like a kid when I am up in the lofts. Remember when you crawled around in spaces as a kid? It just kind of makes you want to giggle! And the view from up high in the loft - so fun! I just loved making up this space. It was like a game of tetris finding places for everything. And I would put things away, bring in another load and have to pull things out and rearrange to fit in the additional items. Very much a puzzle. But things are well organized and there are not many things here that wont get used. I hope. I do have a nice set of plastic dishes that never got used over the last 2 years because of the pandemic and not hosting any big gatherings. I will enjoy making a fire pit and burning up some of the fallen tree pieces that came down in wind storms this winter. I can envision friends pitching tents in the field and laughing into the night around a roaring campfire. And using my plastic plate set, finally! It has become very apparent to me that you have to be much more mindful and in the moment in a tiny house. Things are close so you will bump into things if you are not careful. Things are tucked away, so you have to move things to get to other things. You go up or down the stairs or ladder to the lofts, carefully with focus so you don’t get hurt. I healthier way to be - present and aware, not lost in the mind and on autopilot. Then there is the need to squat down a lot, as things are stored even in low spaces. I am trying to squat rather than bend over. I think making each grab an intentional strength move is healthier for my back too. I am making a point to go up into the loft to sit and work now and then to change up where I am and to move around more. And I get outside more! All good and healthy things.😃  I had to try. Didn't I? Yes. I had to try to save 40 acres of trees and trails behind my home from being sub-divided and developed. Those trails linked up with other trails and wrapped around a large portion of the one and only public grade school in our community. It was also the backdrop to the local Shakespeare Troupe. Perhaps because I used those trails myself often, and even walked my children to school through them, I felt a deep love for those trees and trails and thus the energy to do what I could. I spent hours over many months, money, both mine and generous supporters, in an effort to do all that could be done to come up with a viable solution or plan. I contacted so many local groups I can't even recall them all And there were local supporters and users of those trails that pitched in where they could. Even a visit from our state representative that made the local paper. Many meetings and phone calls later, over a nearly two year period, with the patience of many people, including the land owners, and the hard work, time and effort of the South Whidbey Park and Recreation District in attaining grant funds as well as the voting approval of the local tax payers, those trails are safely in the hands of the Park and Rec. District. These join up with existing Park and Rec. trails as well as with school district owned land and trails that teachers take their students to in order to learn more about the natural world. It was not easy. And although I nearly gave up once, I didn't and I am so grateful I didn't. It really was a win win for our community. And I know I left something of me here on South Whidbey. Which feels pretty darn nice. Name a trail after me?
You can still visit the website I created - no longer needed really, other than as a recording of the effort, at savethetrails.weebly.com. |
AuthorBringer of Light and Love. Transformation Facilitator. Lover of Mother Earth & Nature Archives
July 2024
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