The Psychology of Disorganization

I have come to understand a deeper reason for how we tend to keep our spaces, whether that be our home, car, yard or desk. There is an energy at play. It reflects our state of being, our belief systems and our moods, even if we are not able to identify those.  We may go between living in a relatively clean and tidy space for days, weeks or months, to allowing things to get messy or dirty and thus needing to undertake a major clean up. Why?

Most of us are not hoarders, yet we have so much more stuff these days! Likely we have experienced feeling some level of anxiety around letting go of things. We may not even be very aware of what is around us, and in the case of the hoarder, not see the chaos and unhealthy situation (tripping hazards, mold potential etc.) we are living in.  The energy of our thoughts and emotions appear visibly in our outside world. I suspect you wont find a depressed person’s home spotless, tidy and full of light, with vibrant colors and music. I also suspect you wont often find a home of someone who has a truly healthy love for life and themselves to be cramped or cluttered, where the shades stay drawn day in and day out.

I wish to suggest an opportunity here. To begin, look with curiosity at friends and family, but ultimately at your own, spaces to see if you find a connection between your observance or what you suspect is the state of mind, and what their homes, cars or office look like. You may not be a psychologist or therapist, but you may have a good sense of what is going on with your friend or family member by not only observing their words and actions, but how they live. What clothes they wear and how they keep the spaces they are in control of, says something about their state as well as their personality. 

This could be the more nuanced but critical piece in keeping your spaces organized and clean, where you can find what you need and relax or entertain. More than will power, intention or your energy level. It’s my understanding and experience anyway, that why a person can’t seem to stay organized is not about being lazy or not caring, but more about their mental or emotional state or beliefs about themselves or the world. I wondered why some people seem to be disorganized to a certain level -  it doesn’t seem to get worse quickly but also they don’t seem to be able to maintain a level of clean they say they want. Things seem to return to a place of equilibrium or normal level of messy for them.

Reasons could include not feeling we are good enough, fear of loosing it all or not having enough, the need for “proof” that we are successful, fear of limitations or limited options, fear of missing out, of not having what we need, fear of abandonment, are some possibilities.The most common statement from clients and friends is “what if I need it later?”. Or they have plans for it. Even if those plans have been around for 10 years with no action. 

Might you be interested in finding out why? To get honest, real and a bit vulnerable in order to find out what is at the deeper, subconscious level of the reason you are living as you are? There are a variety of ways to get some answers and to shift old fears and beliefs. I am trained to help through Energy Codes Coaching and healing, but there is a whole long list of ways one might get some insight and support on this. The emotional piece has a big effect on the getting to and staying organized. If you think you “like” mess and clutter, ask yourself if you prefer going into other peoples homes, stores, or other places of business that are messy, crowded or cluttered. Or if you prefer a store where you can find your way around and find what you are looking for relatively easily. A friend’s home where things are clean and there is a place to sit down for a chat versus one where you have to watch where you step and move things off the chair or couch, table etc. in order to sit down. Likely your “like” of messiness is really just a tolerance of your own mess because it has become what you know, what you are used to.  Just like we get used to living on a busy road after a while. The sounds (possibly maintaining a low level stress response) are still there but we take less notice of them. It takes effort to change our space, and ourselves and that seems like too much work. There could even be a reason you don’t think it is safe to have it clean or organized. It might also be true that it is causing more stress and anxiety than you know. Just because we are “used” to an unpleasant situation or person, level of stress or frustration, doesn’t mean it isn’t effecting us long term.

We have a local grocery store that I wish to support as it has great produce, local options, wonderful employees and donates back to the community. However, they fill every possible space with other items too, ones that are not typical of a grocery store. And it makes it hard to navigate around, especially with a grocery cart and I get overwhelmed by all the STUFF in that store! So I only go there when I need just a few things and I can be quick. I keep my eyes on the areas I am needing items from like the produce section and have learned to tune out the other. But it is still unpleasant. I disliked going into Toys-R-Us with my young kids because there was just so much to look at, the eye doesn’t know where to land! Same with Walmart. I don’t shop there for a number of reasons, but one is how crowded with stuff, the tall and skinny isles etc. I feel anxious in that store! There is no room to breathe or think!

I am working on some short YouTube videos where I talk about organizing steps - but also focused on the mental part as well as the planning and prep. You know what organized and disorganized spaces look like. You also might see images of well organized closets, garage or rooms and feel it is out of reach to you which make you discouraged to ever start. My videos will be focused on the thought processes and feeling into what it is you want. And offer questions or tasks to help get you started. I hope you find them useful and get you off to a good start as you prepare to make some healthy and happy changes for your spaces. Winter and the start of a new year is a great time to start your year off!  Good time to do indoor projects in preparation for having more time and energy for outside activities and tasks when the days are longer and warmer! 
Check it out here… LINK