I can't recommend enough, Dr. Sue's book "The Energy Codes". I have read it several times and of course have much time and training from and with Dr. Sue, and yet, I embody more of the wisdom each time I revisit it. I invite you to explore the book in community to really help it land so the benefits are magnified!
​Join me and others in a book study starting soon! More details can be found here... Book Study

As we glance at 2024 in the rear view mirror, while curiously peering forward to see what the 2025 road opens to, I suggest a pause in which we are fully in the moment and in our bodies rather than our busy minds. By focusing the mind on to the body and the moment, we relax. We can begin to train the mind to do this more easily and once it gets used to how wonderful it feels to do so, it can happen more quickly. Just taking a deep belly breath and releasing it with an audible sigh relaxes the autonomic nervous system. It sends the message - all is well, I am safe. Because in this moment, aren’t you? If not, please run for your life or call 911 or what ever you need to do! Or are you actually safe in this moment? I bet in this right now moment, you are. No bear, no fire, no avalanche - right? 

Perhaps you are not, right in this moment, in a state of distress. But even small levels of stress, when constant, can take a toll on our health and make our lives much harder and less pleasant than they could be. 

When I am feeling some level of concern, I can now more easily (not always yet!) notice it for what it is - created by thoughts regarding something that triggered in me, a certain vibration or recognizable feeling that I have labeled anxiety, fear, worry, stress etc.  

But if everything is working in my favor, and not only do I believe this, but I am coming to experience and understand this on a deeper level as I remember to zoom out and look at the big picture, then I can trust what is and not allow my mind to always go into action to look for danger or try to solve it. Nor to push the feeling away.

NOTE - One should not completely shut down uncomfortable feelings. There are no good or bad feelings, they just all are. So give any feeling it’s moment to be acknowledged. Breathe into the belly and exhale. Do this, while still noticing the feeling, until the intensity lessens. You will make better decisions from this new state. Notice that the mind had more to do with how you were feeling in the body then the moment or situation  itself did. It was the thoughts about something rather than the physical happening of that something. When you breathe deeper and slower, the flight or fight instinct is not present and you can use more of your body - like your heart - to engage with the situation or the world.

Since everything is in my favor, I can relax more and remain open to opportunities and possibilities and keep my stress level low. If I let my mind get the better of me, stress tends to rise and I feel worse. If I relax into the truth of a loving Universe, more options flow my way with ease. 

Example. Currently, my client load is quite low, thus I am not generating much income. I know I have a lot to offer, and that what I do offer is valuable to people in their lives. My clients have all loved working with me and have been well served. I know this is my heart and in my mind. Yet, here I sit with little financial growth. I have spoken with a number of people recently who expressed interest in using my help, even if in less traditional ways from what I advertise on my website, and each time I am buoyed up that I could get some more hours and help someone in this way! And yet they have not actually taken the next step to contact me with details. I have resisted getting to much in my head about why this seems to be the case right now.

Also, as I finally moved into my new house this Fall, my tiny house has not sold as quickly as I imagined. The first time I sold it, it happened in two days. But that one ultimately fell through after two months. Ok, because my new house was delayed further than I thought, so I still needed to live there. Worked out for the best.

About the same time, I responded to an ad for part-time work at a local retail store and was immediately hired. I have no retail experience but knew I would be good at customer service. Other benefits include getting to dress up a bit, have a source of reliable income and be more in person with folks, even offering my services if the topic came up! All those things have come to pass and I really love engaging in person with people on a regular basis again.

Options for my assessment of the situation are nearly unlimited, but it is safe to say that one could imagine a few disempowering ones; such as “I just can’t make this business work, or maybe my clients don’t really benefit from the help I give, or maybe I am not meant to do this work, or… fill in your own ideas here. 

If everything is in my favor, and it is, and if everything can be seen as an opportunity, and it can, then let’s look at the possible benefits from lack of clients and the tiny house not selling quickly.

Part-time retail job - seeing lots of friendly faces, chatting with other community members, visitors etc. An opportunity to more routinely enjoy the extravert in me. Dressing nice, with jewelry!

Tiny House not selling fast - Many more people are looking at my tiny house and the video than if it had sold quickly - in this way, I am touching many lives! We all can radiate love and bring forward healing in unforeseen ways. I have received many comments about how the video touched folks!

Recent job potentials - maybe they are not quite what is needed for me (and them) right now, but it is a way to prepare me to think of other ways I can be of service. Perhaps I would not actually enjoy doing what they need done. Or maybe simply, right now is not the ideal time for either of us, but maybe later in 2025 will be.

Not to say I have all these “benefits” accurately figured out and maybe even more or different benefits will be known later, but the point is, I can choose to focus on what is happening as a “problem” or choose to see everything as an opportunity and in my favor. 

A powerful tool in my tool belt thanks to Dr. Sue, her teachings and her book “The Energy Codes” is doing the MPower step with B.E.S.T. (bioenergetic synchronization technique). You can learn more about it on youtube, in her book, or I am happy to teach you, but basically it uses a contralateral exercise to connect the conscious and the subconscious while focusing with love on a desired truth using a positive present tense statement.

I do think, or maybe it is better to say I feel, that part of my “job” here in this lifetime is to be a person to connect with, to engage with, as I hold the space for others to be themselves, or help to hold a container of support on a group zoom call or live event, to be the example of a strong woman, brave explorer, trusting person, loving and kind human, or any number of things that people may be inspired by through me. Ways I am not even aware of, and certainly not “trying” for, but by simply being me, I can inspire! I love to help people. Especially if they actually want the help! Sometimes just the step of asking for help is what brings forth the energy needed to get to a better place. Maybe that is another way I am in service! So many possibilities! None of them, I believe, are bad. Unless I decide they are. 

Have you been able to relax into something unpleasant that when you did, actually brought about a solution with little effort? Have you pushed something to happen, through much pain and effort, that you didn’t enjoy the outcome nearly as much as you expected to? If you look at those with the lens “everything is in my favor” - how does it look to you today?
I hope you will try breathing deeper and noticing sooner, when the mind has run away with things, and then watch what happens. I’d love to hear your examples in the comments below! Or perhaps you wish to make a more formal intention of looking how everything is in your favor, by commenting below on what that looks like for you. 
Blessings of light, love and abundance to you my fellow traveler of life

Although I still remember when my elementary school classmates and I walked through the traveling King Tut exhibit in the 1970’s, a trip to Egypt was never been on my bucket list. Nor have I been fascinated with the stories of the gods and goddesses, kings and queens of ancient Egypt. History was actually my least favorite subject in school. Yet I felt a call to say yes to a tour to Egypt’s great temples and pyramids offered by Dr. Sue Morter. So I signed up.
It was totally out of my comfort zone to do this. Some of my family and friends were like - you are going where and why? I didn’t have an answer other than I got a strong “knowing” to say yes to this particular tour. And that it was with Dr. Sue and so I trusted that. And boy am I glad I did! It was an amazing experience. I learned a lot about ancient Egypt but mostly I learned about myself. Through opening to something totally unlike me, and having very few expectations for the trip, I trusted fully and just let it flow. And it unfolded beautifully. Maybe it was easier because I had not been dreaming of such a trip for most of my life or anything significant other than I listened to the yes and responded to it. I knew I was in good hands, so it wasn’t extremely hard to trust that the trip would be good. I was going to be with Dr. Sue after all!

Every detail was attended to, beginning with being met at the airport in Cairo. Things went smoothly and all the guides and coordinators handled things brilliantly. Choices of locations, lodging, transportation was top notch.
Visiting the temples, pyramids and sacred sites was both amazing and at times overwhelming. So much history, facts, stories, reasons for this and that, conquering nations changing them etc. and then there was the sites themselves. Both inside and out, the architecture, the giant statues and columns, the carvings, the hieroglyphs, and the stories the pictures told. At times I could only take in a small amount. But I did what I could and didn’t let myself feel bad when I had to say enough and tune some of it out.
Then there were the felt sensations. I felt different energies at various sites. Some I didn’t feel much or even anything at all. Some were significant. At Karnak Temple in Luxor, it felt like my body was deep into the earth, maybe up to my knees or so even as I walked. I felt condensed, but not in a heavy, negative or uncomfortable way. It was the most tangible feeling of being grounded and connected to the earth I have ever experienced. At another I felt a tingling vibration all over my body while I was there. And at a Coptic church in Cairo I felt a different kind of condensed, but again not in a scary or heavy way. I felt a little woozy but more my mind interpreted it that way than I was actually unsteady on my feet. It was pretty neat to experience something so tangible in my body and very site specific.
Dr. Sue offered her take on things, based on her experiences and the energies she had and was experiencing, which usually dug a little deeper rather than the surface level explanations for things. I enjoyed that part the most, as I have never been a history buff. But bigger picture and human relating, and the heart are all things I am able to focus on.

I brought back with me a deeper interpretation of the history or the origin of these great places. There is much more there than what was taught in history class. We tend to regurgitate what we were first taught without questioning. Now I am questioning. I also returned with the memory of the proud people who were always kind, engaging and open with our group. They met our gaze and were genuinely interested in us. The young kids especially. Unexpectedly, they would wave like mad at our tour buses and even asked for selfies with us at a park we walked through. What beautiful people who love their home. 

I am grateful for the experiences that I had. And I believe that it all went so smoothly because I kept expectations, needs and desires to a minimum, listened to a yes, ignored the critic and fear monger in my head, and went for it.

While I may not know all the reasons I was meant to go, nor fully appreciate yet all the benefits that are likely to unfold, it feels amazing to have trusted and relaxed into the flow of it all. I return feeling lighter, younger, and less fearful of the unknown. I intend to continue to bring these feelings with me into the future and step with grace and ease when ever something comes up that I am not sure how to navigate yet I get a strong pull towards. Pausing and tuning into my heart, my inner knowing, even if the mind is confused, turned out wonderfully.

How have you, will you or are you, listening to the inner yes? Big or small, please share with me! I would love to hear it. 

I wanted to share something sweet. There is a website curated with good news.  It is called Reasons to be Cheerful.  The tag line is:  Tonic for tumultuous times

We are bombarded with negativity. And yet there are many things to celebrate in our world. Yes, there is much to be bummed about too. But where we put our attention, our energy, we support or even grow. The news and even Youtube and social media, is about getting your attention quick for your clicks to find out more reasons to be shocked! Our brains are wired to be alert for danger. We must make an effort to seek out the calm, the sweet, the beautiful and support and grow that too. Again, where our attention goes, energy flows. Think about when you feel a certain way, especially in an extreme, don't you then notice a lot more confirmations of that, whether that be wanted or unwanted? Thinking people are mean and greedy will often cause more mean and greedy folks to cross your path. Feeling a love of neat sports cars, you seem to see more of them on the road that day! Or loving good deals at the store. Try setting an intention before you shop. I did this today before going into the thrift store. I stated that I would find perfect items I needed  (nothing super specific) at great prices. (Because let's face it, even thrift store prices have gone way up.) Well I found some great items, some for 90 cents! I have rarely been so successful at one thrift store little-lone two in a row!

So seek out and surround yourself with more good news, more loving and hopeful things. Notice pretty flowers, cute dogs, cool clouds, sweet butterflies and let yourself feel the joy they create in you and bring that forward into the next moment and the next and even the next! And check this site out and maybe even subscribe to get the occasional email with new cheerful stories, right in your inbox. I bet there are a lot of negative emails in your box. Why not add one that is not?!
https://reasonstobecheerful.world/

🤔 What would happen if we all doubted ourselves just a little less often?
So much self doubt in our world! Maybe in part due to social media? Comparison central! Imposter syndrome is a common theme. 
Even “wrong decisions” are not really wrong. They can help us narrow down and provide experiences that a “right decision” simply can’t. I wonder why we spend so much mental and emotional energy in this fear, which is what doubt is at it’s base. What primal fear is at work here - being bad, not being accepted, being judged, disappointing others… ??  I wrote a blog two months ago about doubt and now I want to offer something else. 

A Doubt Less Challenge! Here is how it could work…

For three weeks, agree to notice when doubt arises and pause to acknowledge it. Notice where in your body your feel it. Breathe through that area several times. Reconsider the question or thought. For every 3rd doubt, proceed anyway. (not to be taken literally - an estimated 1/3 of your doubts each day/week). Jot down or journal about every time you do this, regardless if you proceed or not. 

At the end of the three weeks, revisit your list or journal entries. Mark those that you proceeded anyway with a P and those you did not with a N.  Then ask yourself - which of the P’s do you truly regret letting the doubt go. On which of the N’s do you wonder “what if”.  Assess this from the big picture or birds eye view as best you can. 

Let me know if you’d like to do this in tandem! Also great to do on your own. But sometimes we need accountability and fellow journeyers to keep at it.

Is money the root of all evil? It can seem like that sometimes. Money issues can tear apart families and close relationships, cause imbalances in organizations, society and harm the planet. How did it get to be such a touchy subject? How or when did we let money run our lives? And why do we use money as a value system? 

If something costs more, it must mean it is more worthwhile having, or that whom ever has/does that, must be successful, doing well, and often held with higher regard, right? What should be a choice to value from our deeper knowing or desires for not only ourselves, but for society, often gets overridden by the ego, societal norms and conditioning. Not what is truly meaningful to our soul. We earn money to not only cover our basic needs, but to have enough left over to do the things that make life worth living. That could be vacations, activities, hobbies, creative pursuits and just being able to enjoy a meal or a movie out with those we enjoy being with. What happens when we don’t earn enough for that, or worse, even for our basic needs? We have witnessed what happens and it is not pretty.

Why is it that humans are the only species on the planet that “need” money? Every other creature (other than domesticated animals) find what they need without a job, bank account or cash or even the need for a barter system. This struck me recently as a bit odd. Aren’t we the “advanced” ones on this planet? How did we get so dependent on paper we printed?

Look at the homeless epidemic right now. I marvel at a homeless man in my community who is quite clearly filthy, sits in the rain and cold, and relies on the Universe via the goodness of others each day.  Although I can’t imagine what is going on inside of him, what ever it is, he persists in living. He is likely beyond worrying about money itself. He may worry about eating that day. Or the weather, and how he will stay warm or any number of things. But money itself is probably off the table. I have an abundance of wealth compared to him. And yet I worry about money. Intriguing. How can I better trust in the Universe; trust in the moment?

I sat down this morning to do some automatic writing. If you don’t know what that is, I invite you to listen to my short description of it on youtube, but in a nut shell, it is where you relax your thinking mind, sit down and write and don’t stop for about 2-4 pages worth. You want to keep your pen flowing without editing or trying too hard to think about what you are writing. Often you ask a question of the Universe, your higher self, Source, God, whom ever you reach out or pray to. It gets easier to trust that it is not your mind thinking it all after you have practiced a bit. For me, I know it is not my logical mind because what comes out is often not what I would have said. Or it is said in a much different way, using some terms I rarely use. 

Today I asked about money. I am feeling very pinched right now, in a way that I have not in a long time. What came through was not exactly what I was expecting. It was helpful and beyond the ego’s need for answers, safety, a plan etc. But it was soothing to me all the same. I recorded it and you can check it out below.

I am curious about your thoughts. Why do you think we have evolved to rely on money? How might the world be different if we didn’t? Can we even imagine such a world? Could we try?

​https://youtu.be/dfzP7eXXq-4

Are you a human doing or or human being? If I asked “who are you” what would you say? I encourage a deep exploration of these questions. And in this blog I share three offerings by others on a similar theme. Being is enough. Enjoyment is natural. Not lazy. Not time wasting. Our focus on striving, doing, producing, and listening to the nagging voice in our head is not making us happy or healthy. Are we here to produce and then die? Or are we here to be, to live, to love. 

Notice how we value ourselves and others, how we measure our own and others worth. I believe these kinds of conversations help us awaken to the lie we have all been programed to believe, despite our observations and lived experiences. The lie that productivity equals value and worthiness. 

So I offer a quick summary of three related conversations of sort. A book, a podcast and a YouTube video. My summary may be enough for you. But if you feel called to click the links to listen, watch, or read, great! Trust your first instinct. Maybe it is not now. Maybe it is down the road, perhaps even through a different offering that comes across your path. But I love to share what I have loved! I have no connection what-so-ever to these folks. I simply loved what they are sharing.


The book
“The Superego thoughts are the ones that sound like worry - questioning how you’ll be perceived, reminding you for the thirtieth time today what’s on your to-do list, rehearsing an imaginary dialogue with a friend or perceived enemy, as well as the thoughts that call you names or otherwise imply that you’re not good enough.” from Better Days by Neal Allen, pg. 178.

In a nut shell, the book is about learning to distinguish between our ego and our true (heart based) self and what to do with that new awareness. What I really appreciated about Better Days by Neal Allen, which just came out this year, is that it uses simple, short, digestible chapters with stories and some humor thrown in plus just a couple of practices.  Through this short book, anyone can discover the difference between the mind and the super ego, as Neal calls it, and what to do when it is running the show (shaming you, telling you negative and untrue things about yourself…). Your ego was needed as a child growing up learning to safely navigate this world. But you are an adult now and can take control! There is also a reading group guide offered at the end of the book filled mostly with questions a reader might ask followed by Allen’s answers. 
(No link to offer - find it where ever you enjoy books - library, audio, online or local book store.)


The podcast 
This was a gem. I enjoy Glennon’s vulnerability, humor and wit. I fell in love with her guest in this podcast, Devon Price. Young yet wise. The idea that we feel we have to work ourselves to the point of serious health issues, and even then try to push through instead of taking them as the warning sign they are, is so common. Taking time to rest, do things that we enjoy, that bring us fulfillment and recharge our batteries, is not laziness. It is a necessary part of a good life yet we have gotten away from that in our efforts to “be productive” to earn, to provide, to prove our worth and feel valued. We often look outside ourselves tor validation, when the only way we can truly know it and is truly worth anything, is finding where value lives within ourselves.  Other than all the ads (ugh) this is an fab hour, worth a listen!  Click this apple podcast link or visit your favorite podcast depot and search for the title below…
Glennon Doyle’s “We can do hard things” episode 303 titled “Laziness Does Not Exist with Devon Price” https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/we-can-do-hard-things/id1564530722?i=1000653526239


On YouTube
“Doing is Expensive Being is Free” with Aaron Abke and Kyle Cease.

Non-doership is not the same as doing nothing. It speaks to taking inspired action, going with the flow of life (not pushing the river, as Dr. Sue Morter likes to say). It is not about sitting on the coach in binge watching your favorite show or spending hours lost in social media. That could happen when someone is in big burn out, hitting a wall or very ill. That state wont last forever though. We are creative beings and we like to do things! We have bought into the notion that to be productive and contributing partners or citizens we need to work hard, even at things we hate, to produce tangible wealth or income. Rather than what really matters. Such as creating beauty and joy, being kind, and sharing our hearts with one another, whether that be through a job, helping someone in need, cleaning up a city street, planting a community garden, donating time at a soup kitchen, creating art, growing food etc. It can be found in endeavors that excite you - such as the paid work you do, or what you create and share - blogs, a book, art, services, tools, materials, products, designs etc.

Being vs. doing is about being in your heart, embodying your hearts desires, and tuning in to what your body, heart, gut, higher self, the Universe… is saying to you. Another great hour to spend (they do speak about an in-person event they are planning this June, but there is much here to enjoy with not too much time spent speaking about the event itself. 
YouTube Link: HERE

In closing, I believe we are here to awaken to our true divine nature while being in this physical dimension after so much time forgetting or ignoring our natural desire for joy (like when we were a kid!). We value productivity over enjoying life itself. If you don’t have time for joy, time to get off the hamster wheel. 

Sending love, light and abundance your way and radiating it out into the world through all that I do!  Thanks for reading, and BEING human! ❤️

You can make a difference in reducing harmful greenhouse gases every single day by reducing or eliminating throwing food into the garbage and thus landfills. Tossed out food is a waste of your money and the energy that produced it and brought it to your table as well as stored it in your fridge or freezer. Please consider how you might let less food get to the point of tossing it out, and when you do need to, place it in a compost or worm bin instead of the garbage can.  Check out my short video below with suggestions and comment here or on my Youtube channel if you have ideas, questions or wish to share what you do to waste less food. We can all do this! Thank you in advance for your time and effort, because it is estimated that a 60% reduction in food waste translates to a 7% reduction in total greenhouse gas emissions. That is big!

https://youtu.be/3KvMYu2BNFo

I attended a quarterly support call recently for a group who went through a training. I was struck by the common sentiment of the people who raised their zoom hand to ask questions. Nearly all were doubting themselves in some way. They all had a unique and beautiful way to offer support for clients or family and friends, and yet they doubted their ability or effectiveness. Some times even when presented with evidence of help. They still questioned if they did it “right”. 

Why do we doubt ourselves so much? I don’t know if we would ever feel we are 100% spot on in our choices but I would venture to guess a fairly high rate of success, at some level or by some measurement anyway. Often times the success lies within the learning or growth that was experienced, even if the intended outcome was not achieved. The notion of “failure” is an interesting one. Babies fall down many times as they learn to walk yet it doesn’t mean they failed at walking. 

What would happen and what would life be like if I doubted myself less? Or maybe I prefer to say I wish to trust the Universe more - as it works through me. How much more time and energy would I have available to me if I could do this? I wonder. If I could more often than not, trust the process and see it all as a journey, as a series of experiences that line my path and growth, knowing we are all learning along the way, would’t that make for a happier, healthier person? After all, the best way to learn is by doing! And not always smoothly, perfectly, or quickly. We don’t scold a child for doing something imperfectly while they are learning, why do we do it to ourselves as adults? After all, we continue to learn all our lives. 

I am reminded of the book by Micheal Singer titled “The Surrender Experiment” where he, the author, decided to surrender and basically embrace or say yes to everything that the Universe presented him, such as if he was asked to do something. This is a true story and it might surprise you to hear that through suspended doubt about his abilities or what the future looked like, the experience turned out to be a quite amazing and expansive one! 

Saying yes to everything that comes our way may not be the right thing if we are learning to say no more easily in order to prioritize time for our own self care, better health and sanity. But by staying open to what arises and by tuning into our bodies, we can get better at deciphering what feels right and what doesn’t feel right for us at that time. Often we know when we are saying yes out of guilt or a sense of obligation, rather than a resonance with the request. And sometimes our mind cautions us against saying yes in the ego’s effort to “keep us safe” which often translates to “keep us small” when the feeling we have inside our body feels like jumping for joy or buzzing with excitement about the idea or the possibility! 

Try an experiment. For a week or a month, or even just for a day, allow what every arises to be filtered through your body, your heart and keep the egoic mind out of it. Follow the body’s guidance and then take note of what happens. What does life feel like after a full week or month of it? How did things work out? Sometimes there is a delayed realization of the wisdom, but often we will get the confirmation sooner, that when we listen to our gut, our bodies, our heart, it works out well, sometimes better than our mind imagined and in unexpected ways. Self doubt or imposter syndrome is mind generated and based in fear. Our hearts don’t doubt or fear. 

How can I know that the Universe is working in my favor? Besides the fact that my life over all has been an exciting journey, I share this story. I had bought tickets to a Cirque du Soleil show well in advance to it coming to town. As the date got close I checked in with my daughter but it turned out that she and her boyfriend couldn’t go after all. I reached out to many family and friends to see who else might want to go with me. I did find one friend, but couldn’t find a third person. But as the show date was just days away and no one else had been able to or was even interested, I gave up searching. Seemed so odd that it had been so hard to find people interested in such a neat show. The day prior I was looking at my tickets to figure out what time we should leave and where we should grab dinner, park etc. and realized that I had only purchased two tickets! I thought I remembered buying three. Looking back later, I saw how I had thought there were three, but the grateful part was that the Universe knew I only had two tickets and so only found one other person to go with me. How sad it would have been to have to break it to someone who was excited to go to the show, that oops, I messed up and I didn’t have a ticket for them after all. Or I may have felt so bad, that I didn’t go myself, and sent the other two people off to the show without me.  

I try to remember when something really odd like this is happening, despite my best efforts, to just relax my expectations and to trust. The Universe always has the bigger picture in view. I, however, am limiting my thinking to a specific outcome and a shorter time frame. I wasn’t doubting myself as much as I was doubting the Universe’s help! But it helped me so much more by NOT finding a third guest than it would have by fulfilling my desire in finding one. 

Loving myself with my heart feels different than knowing with my mind that I love me.
Recently as I was driving in my car, I suddenly FELT self love rather than just thought it. Before this happened, I really didn’t appreciate that I was thinking most of my self love. As in “I should love myself”, or “I am a good person and deserve love” Those are concepts rather than an inner experience. 

It might be easier, certainly quicker, to grasp with our mind what it means to love the natural world, people on the other side of the planet, and ourselves. But when we FEEL love for a thing, including ourself, that is when it has real power.  

Try this. Think and say in your mind “I love myself”.  There might be resistance to even the thought. Your mind might tell you reasons (or many) why you are less than lovable. Don’t listen. Instead, think of someone you really truly love. It could be a pet, a child, even an object or a place. Call this person or thing or place up in your mind and focus on it. Does it start to transform into more of a feeling and not just a thought? Now really feel into the love for this person, place, or thing. Take note and remember what that feels like in your body.  Now imagine yourself or a young version of yourself, doing or appreciating an act of loving kindness, even in nature. Now see if you can feel rather than think about this love. Expand that feeling until it extends out beyond your body. Remember what that feels like.

When you notice that you are not being or feeling love for yourself, or the bully inside your head is saying unkind things, pause that dialog (maybe even say “hi bully inside my head”.) Then recall the sensation of loving or appreciating yourself, nature or someone else. Focus on how that feels and see if you can hold that for even 30 seconds. That love is a feeling more than a thought, seems obvious and yet our thoughts can trick us into “checking the box” of self love without actually loving ourself. 

This may take a little practice. Old habits die hard. But it is kind of fun for me now to pause and really look into the desire in that moment to offer self love and ask “is this more of a notion in my head, or can I feel it in my body”? I want the feeling not the concept of self love to be my default; my new habit. Not because I am perfect or without faults. But because I came into this world as Divine, as a precious being of love, and although I may forget this truth at times, that is my essence.  Loving ourselves isn’t about selfishness or thinking too highly of ourself. Rather it is more about allowing imperfection and mistakes to be ok, inevitable even and for love to be bigger than any of it.

Sometimes on challenging days, I have a difficult time feeling self love. Other days it comes more easily. I don’t try overly hard when the feeling wont come. I know it will again later. And I love that I don’t beat myself up for it. When I think about it, I give it some of my time and attention to find the feeling beyond the thought. And it is getting a little easier and more frequent. I forgive myself for taking so long to get to the heart of loving myself. Even if I fall back into old habits, I know what it feels like now and I know I can feel it again. I can even set an intention to feel it more often. Self love makes me a happier, healthier, kinder person - which gets offered to the world. So it is not a silly waste of time. And the world is worth it. Just like I am worth it. You reading this, are worth it. 

How about you? Is your self love a thought or a feeling? When do you notice a feeling versus a thought, of love? Are there other feelings that you really have been thinking rather than feeling? I’d love to hear what you notice, and if you try my exercise above, what you experienced!