Loving myself with my heart feels different than knowing with my mind that I love me.
Recently as I was driving in my car, I suddenly FELT self love rather than just thought it. Before this happened, I really didn’t appreciate that I was thinking most of my self love. As in “I should love myself”, or “I am a good person and deserve love” Those are concepts rather than an inner experience. It might be easier, certainly quicker, to grasp with our mind what it means to love the natural world, people on the other side of the planet, and ourselves. But when we FEEL love for a thing, including ourself, that is when it has real power. Try this. Think and say in your mind “I love myself”. There might be resistance to even the thought. Your mind might tell you reasons (or many) why you are less than lovable. Don’t listen. Instead, think of someone you really truly love. It could be a pet, a child, even an object or a place. Call this person or thing or place up in your mind and focus on it. Does it start to transform into more of a feeling and not just a thought? Now really feel into the love for this person, place, or thing. Take note and remember what that feels like in your body. Now imagine yourself or a young version of yourself, doing or appreciating an act of loving kindness, even in nature. Now see if you can feel rather than think about this love. Expand that feeling until it extends out beyond your body. Remember what that feels like. When you notice that you are not being or feeling love for yourself, or the bully inside your head is saying unkind things, pause that dialog (maybe even say “hi bully inside my head”.) Then recall the sensation of loving or appreciating yourself, nature or someone else. Focus on how that feels and see if you can hold that for even 30 seconds. That love is a feeling more than a thought, seems obvious and yet our thoughts can trick us into “checking the box” of self love without actually loving ourself. This may take a little practice. Old habits die hard. But it is kind of fun for me now to pause and really look into the desire in that moment to offer self love and ask “is this more of a notion in my head, or can I feel it in my body”? I want the feeling not the concept of self love to be my default; my new habit. Not because I am perfect or without faults. But because I came into this world as Divine, as a precious being of love, and although I may forget this truth at times, that is my essence. Loving ourselves isn’t about selfishness or thinking too highly of ourself. Rather it is more about allowing imperfection and mistakes to be ok, inevitable even and for love to be bigger than any of it. Sometimes on challenging days, I have a difficult time feeling self love. Other days it comes more easily. I don’t try overly hard when the feeling wont come. I know it will again later. And I love that I don’t beat myself up for it. When I think about it, I give it some of my time and attention to find the feeling beyond the thought. And it is getting a little easier and more frequent. I forgive myself for taking so long to get to the heart of loving myself. Even if I fall back into old habits, I know what it feels like now and I know I can feel it again. I can even set an intention to feel it more often. Self love makes me a happier, healthier, kinder person - which gets offered to the world. So it is not a silly waste of time. And the world is worth it. Just like I am worth it. You reading this, are worth it. How about you? Is your self love a thought or a feeling? When do you notice a feeling versus a thought, of love? Are there other feelings that you really have been thinking rather than feeling? I’d love to hear what you notice, and if you try my exercise above, what you experienced!
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AuthorBringer of Light and Love. Transformation Facilitator. Lover of Mother Earth & Nature Archives
January 2025
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